Friday, February 1, 2008

"Breakfast of Champions" - A Super Bowl Preview

Look, in all honesty, I'm by no means a sport fan by an standard. I'll watch a game or two once the final teams have reached the playoffs. But once you start conversing with me about player's names, and jersey numbers, team stats and what not,
I'm about as lost as an Englishman in Africa...
with half a Chinese map.
So when folks talk of Super Bowl what you see pictured to the left is the first thing that comes to my mind off the bat. Saturday morning,
a LARGE Tupperware bowl, my cereal of choice and icy cold milk. Not Sunday evening, small plastic trays, and a choice of pretzel, Doritos and dip, and celery sticks.But this year I've decided to get on board and be a team player and really follow Sunday's Big Game. Based on past research, here's some hit-or-miss predictions on how I think the game will go.
First off, it'll begin with some former
American Idol or forgotten Pop diva singing the Anthem.
Then after dominating the 1st quarter and a half (insert your favorite team's name) will kick a field goal to maintain the lead by (insert #) before heading back to the locker room for halftime. Which by the way will feature a performance by some Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inducted group that only older coaches and team owners listen to. Half a suck ass show and a barrage of somewhat witty commercials about beer and big budget movie ads, both teams will return to the field pumped. By 4th quarter (insert team name) will have shortened the lead by a few points if not tied it. Some (insert team name) will fumble or be intercepted in the Red zone giving (insert team name) the winning edge with no timeouts,
(insert team name) WINS! Go (insert team name)!
Another Disney World commercial.
That's pretty much it right?
Well, see you at some local Super Bowl house party.
Hope (insert favorite team) wins you the office pot. Cut me in.

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