Thursday, February 25, 2010

"By FREAK Accident!" -Don't Let 'em Fool Ya, Oh No!

Hey, I know you're busy and all but I need your advise on something real quick. Cool? First let me explain. Okay, a friend (no, seriously's NOT me) the other day was telling me how, one morning in a rush leaving for work from his shorty's crib, he mistakenly grabbed her iPhone on his way out. It wasn't till I (ummm, I meant HE) was looking through the phone's playlist that he realized it was NOT his...definitely not! One playlist title that raised a "red flag" for him was one titled "Pole Position!" Curious he randomly scrolled through it, just to figure out WHAT the f#@k songs would be listed under a title like THAT ! By now he's heated and shocked from what he's reading, here's a sample of just why! Songs like;

Silk -"Freak Me"

Jodeci -"Freakin' You" (Wu-Remix)

Petey Pablo -"Freak A Leak"

Prince -"Head"

Shawnna -"Gettin' Some Head"(Remix)

Nas -"Oochie Wally"

Sisqo -"Thong Song"

David Banner -"Play"

Ying Yang Twins -"Wait" (Remix)

Khia -"My Neck, My Back"

And then he said sarcastically, "What hoe ass playlist would be complete without..."

Luke -"Doo Doo Brown"

So OF COURSE as soon as he gotta moment to speak to her, he was dying to hear her side. To which she explained "Oh, I ain't tell you? I'm taking a pole dancing class at the gym baby!" He was relieved for a while believing her story till he recently found these (*see picture below) under her bed! Once again he confronted her like, "Yo WTF! I thought you told me some BS story 'bout some "pole dancing" class son!" And with a straight face she replied, "Oh I am's to help me make bigger TIPS!" My question I wanna ask you is, "Is it rude to ask him where exactly she's stripping at?"

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

"The Gina Monologues!" Happy B'day G. Ski!

This FRIDAY, no matter what the weather is looking like outside, they'll be something FISHY going on inside Tamboril! Not only will it be a HUGE Pisces celebration going down, there's also be a LIVE performance, art show and B'day bash for the sexiest land mammal born under the sign of Pisces I know...the one & only Ms. Gina (I was born by the river) Jankowski! Here's some reminders if you had planned on attending anyway that she wanted me to pass on to you:

1. Bring your camera
2. Bring your ID if you want to get in
3. Joining her for dinner? Come around 9:30!
4. It is HER birthday Friday but you best dress like it's YOURS...and that means come in STYLE and smiles.
5. THE EVENT IS FREE!!!!! so don't miss it. See you there

Friday, Feb. 26th
"the Gina Monologues!" -B'day & Art Show w/Live Performance (by Roxiny)
Tamboril -527 Myrtle Ave. off Grand St.
FREE admission ALL night!
Dinner starts 9:30, Party starts 11pm sharp till 4am
Music by the M Report & the Ahficionados (the BlocK Association)

"Flashing Lights" -Paparazzi Pics (Pt.190)

Lately I've been having a case of "the Winter blahs", so it's even a shock to me that not only did I do an about face and attend Pink (formerly Pink Elephant) this Sunday past, I decided to go out Monday (to CV, formerly 105 Rivington) TOO! Took a nap Monday eve, so I was restless like "Awww f@#k it, I'm down!" When I got the call to go and support Butch Diva's latest "cook ups." Once again due to (3hrs behind NY time) L.A. (Lyshaan Hall/the Stylistics Agency) we MISSED the freaking fashion show and just caught the after party! But wait...I'm jumping the gun here. First back to Pink. Got there round 12ish to RE reintroduce myself once again to staff (as if I haven't been working there like a MONTH now) and was shocked to see folks (mainly chicks) posted up inside already. So Chandon, Patty Laurent, Mel B., L.A. and myself copped a booth till the room filled up. The night was slower than usual, (slower meaning 350 folks as opposed to the usual 500) but me & the crew made the best of it anyways. Seems like that night ALL of our international friends (Italy, Sweden, the UK) came out attend by some strange coincidence...Hmmm? Well here's the pics from BOTH nights, only makes sense being that I was OUT back to back! Enjoy visually what you couldn't physically.

Monday, February 22, 2010

"Order Out Of (Spandex &) Chaos!" -Be A Diva Believer!

"It's been a long time, I shouldn't have left you/Without a strong rhyme to step to/Think of how many weak shows you slept through/Time's up, I'm sorry I kept you" -Rakim

I pretty sure by now you've guessed that Butch Diva returns TONIGHT with all new exclusive designs that you'll be make room for in that closet of yours! Here all the juicy details;

"SPANDEX & CHAOS" -the New Ish!
@ CV (formerly known as 105 Riv)
105 Rivington bet Essex & Ludlow
Doors Open @ 11PM
FREE admission!
Dj Moma & Stimulus doin' what they do best..
Showtime @ MIDNIGHT!
AFTER PARTY immediately following!!!

"Love, Deluxe Style!" -Puttin' Some Sade In The Mix (Ahficionados Exclusive Mix)

Straight from my e-mail to your ears, the Ahfici
recently when into the lab and came out with THIS! Aimed it all those who may have forgotten just why Sade is STILL "that bitch!" Which is why her music is loved and her new material is so anticipated! Know I don't wanna chew your ear off for too too long but as our gift to you here's a FREE download of a hot mix of Sade classics. You can thank me later! But for now just LISTEN...

Sade -"Lover's Grand Deluxe Mix" (Minority Report exclusive)

Friday, February 19, 2010

"Flashing Lights" -Paparazzi Pics (Pt.189)

*I don't recommend you to "Wop" as you read this*

"I came in the door, I said it before, I'm never drinking
Henny w/Patron chasers no mo'!" Okay THAT didn't happen! But if it did, it probably woulda been a BETTER night for me. Let me explain from the top. This past Wed. Feb.17th I was honored with the task of hosting NBA star forward Al Harrington's 30th B-day bash along w/nightlife guru Patty Laurent, Hollywood Chuck, & L.A. (of the Stylistics Agency). The theme was straight 80's simply because that's the EXACT year Al was born. The venue was Quo (28th St. betwn 10 & 11th), and when I arrive early (like 8:30) EVERYTHING was crispy! The 200 pound B-Boy ice sculpture (complete w/boom box and phat rope chain w/ "30" medallion), the 8 foot long graffiti "Fourty Deuce" style photo backdrop. Then the GIGANTIC radio shaped cake, and break dance (all girl) crew where all in place. Thrown in the line up of acts for the night + guests attending (Biz Markie, DJ S&S, Doug E. Fresh, Slick Rick, Big Daddy Kane, Teddy Ted, the Fearless Four, Scoop Lover, & so on) If I had just woke up from a deep coma I would of swore I was back in the 80's heyday! So HOW could it get any better? Well for one, some THIRSTY broads that were hovering around our table like "drink vultures" KEEP putting they DAMN coat on the booth we were sitting in! Pissing me the F@#K off! I was TRYING to be nice about, but the dance floor was about to become the coat check and their jacket woulda been the FIRST ones checked in! To top thing off that had the nerve to have an ATTITUDE with ME dawg! WHAT?!? Huh(?) is right! Second on my "awww damn it" list was THE CROWD. Some folks "got it" then some just needed to STAY in the 80's! I HATE mixing crowds w/other events planners, but big money was involved explaining that. Lastly VIP stood for V (ery) I (gnorant) P (eople) on that night! Every VIP had a "crew" of folks that felt that they was VIP too, mind you in this small ass section of a VIP. Folks took the 80's theme WAY too seriously cause a 80's style fight jumped off RIGHT after the last performance on stage! LOL! Just like Union Square (the club, for those old enough to remember). Speaking of performances, that was THEE only highlight of the night for me, that and the fact that nearly everyone I invited out actually got in! Host Doug E. Fresh, Slick Rick, & Kane all did a DOPE job of moving the crowd! Even Fat Joe (who was stand a foot behind me in the crowd) was awestruck. For all that it was worth that made up for all the other "f@#kery" going on threw out the night. Btw I'm STILL waiting for the bottle service waitress to come to our table...2 days later! Thanks to all whom RSVP to me and came out, you're so FRESH! Here's pictures and video for you to enjoy from the safety of your home! LOL!

"Come Follow Me Into The Matrix"