Friday, October 30, 2009

"Here's A Treat For You Tricks!" -Monsters Ball Visual Walkthrough

Okay, it's become apparent to me that some of you (even Brooklynites) are confused on just WHERE and how to get over to the venue (which name is the same as the address) No.1 Front St. So I took the liberty of providing you with a VERY simple visual guide on where you need to go come Saturday. Cool? First off, the A train or C local to High St. is the closest station to the party. Front cars if you're coming from Brooklyn, and back of course if you're arriving from the city. When you break ground you SHOULD see this hot dog vendor dude, DON'T walk in his direction! Walk going the opposite way, behind the train station and you're half way there.

The block you should (and will I hope) be on is Cadmen Plaza, you'll know for sure if you see the Brooklyn Bridge in front of you and you've pass Henry St. Walk a few (like maybe 2-3) blocks more and you'll see an all-white stand alone corner building across the street from you.

If you see a line in front of the building picture below then you're a freakin' genius! Cause my friend you've not only followed instructions well but you've made it safely to the MONSTER BALL! I just pray you came early, RSVP'd, and is dressed according to our guidelines we told you about. If so then you're "good money" Now enjoy "the show", it will be like no other Halloween event you've EVER attended!

"MONSTERS BALL" -Brooklyn Most Fashionable Halloween Event
No. #1 Front St. -near Old Fulton & Water St. in Dumbo
Music by DJ Goldfinger, DJ Trauma,
the Ahficionados, & BKC's DJ Kohei
Dress in costumed or all black fashionable attire a must!
FREE admission w/rsvp
$$$ at door w/out costume or proper attire.

Drink specials 10-11pm
Kitchen open till 12am

Thursday, October 29, 2009

"Old School, New School Need To Learn" -Know(les) The Ledge! Bey Samples

I had so much fun with the Shyne one yesterday I decided to go head & post this one too. Now don't be fooled, Mrs. Hova (Beyonce') is not a stranger to loops my friend. Though her's are a lil more clever and off the beaten path of break beats, at the end of the day they STILL are samples none the less. I've taken the time to post some good examples of just what I'm referring to. Most are old soul samples, but the originals are just as hot as the records she's made them into.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

"Streets Are Talking!" -Corner Store Chatter

Even though I reside in Bed -Stuy I kinda live in a bubble, being that I only go from my destination and back to the crib when I go out. It's NOWHERE near as bad as it used to be but still, I'm not trying to start hanging out on the corner just to stay hip! LOL! However when I make that trip to the corner store I tend to pick up MORE than just groceries coming back! It seems a hear new "street jargon" all the time that strikes my curiosity. Well here's a few I picked that I care to share with you, if it's okay by you that is? Fine? Okay grab a pen;

A "No-Brainer" isn't what it USED to be! Now it's considered a date without oral sex. Or can be a mate that doesn't give "brain" basically! Wild huh?

Next up we have "Swaggravation" or "Swaggravting" which is someone who's "swagger" or lack of aggravates other people. IE this sentence, "Son sware he's SO fresh, DAMN he's swaggra-vating!"

Cool, third is "Mac & Cheese", which is more associated with a move or action. Meaning after you get a person of interests name & phone number, you turn to your friends smiling about it. You "mack" the person then "cheese" meaning smile about it ear to ear. I'm guessing that lasts till you find out it's a fake number. LOL!

Heard of "Running with the bull"? Well there's that event that takes place in Madrid, Spain. True, but this one means when you tell a "bulls#@t" lie and keep "running" with it. Try it in a sentence like "She told me it's my baby for the FIVE months she got preg, but son, first off it DON'T look nothing like me! She stay running with the bull!"

Here's two that I'm sure you'll get a kick from "Twigger" & "Twitches" The first is a person on Twitter that stay updating you ignorant "tweets" daily! So I'm guessing "Twitches" is the female equivalent to that! LMAO

Well that about wraps things up for now, but TRUST ME, I can get plenty mo' just take a trip to the corner store.

"Old School, New School Need To Learn" -Getting My Shyne On!

Now even though I haven't done a posting in this category in a minute, doesn't mean I haven't been posting up samples from time to time. But being that this guy (former Bad Boy artist turned gun man) Shyne) has been in the news a lot lately, I thought what BETTER time to post this than now! Will he rap again? Is he staying in the states? I don't remember, what song he made again? Why didn't Diddy come visit more? Are ALL questions being floated around the "water cooler!" Me? I'm about the music. I say eff the controversy, I just wanna hear GOOD music from the kid. Well in the meantime here's a "refresher" on the hit he had AND the song he lifted it from made by club icon/nightclubber Grace Jones. Get reacquainted all over again with both.

"I Did Time Up North...Waaay Up!" - Sometimes You Need To One Yourself

Did I ever tell you about the time I did up north? No, it's NOT what you've come to think about the black man (no NOT jail). It's a bit of a different story, mind if I tell it? Well this past week I get a urgent tele from my sensei about (in old Asian voice) "I see frightening times ahead for you!" I'm thinking like "Duh! Halloween IS coming up." He goes on to say "You need to take a soul stroll, get in touch with your spirit animal. To live and fight another day you must sometimes retreat..." And blah blah blah. So I plan this "retreat" trip to Lake Jerry (ummm Springer, or Lewis to sure of the full name), Which is an adventure in itself to get to. You have to take a plane to a bus, and ride donkey the rest of the way up a trail...Wheew! The "religious cult"...sorry group of individuals were basically all there for the same reason, some time-share lottery scam! Nah, just kidding, it was folks looking to "de-urbanize" themselves for a weekend. Me, it was a lil' of that, and alot of wanting to test out the most "awesomest of cameras" I just bought for myself (the Canon sx200) in a different environment. I keep to myself most of the trip, and made sure to decline when they past the "Kool-Aid cup" around to me. BTW, I went damn near 3,000 miles to discover my "spirit animal" was a damn PIGEON!?! I could've found that out back in the city! Well here's the pics i managed to bring back to show you. If you ever decide to go on one, bring your own Kool-Aid. LOL!

Friday, October 23, 2009

"Get Into The Party Life!" -I'm Fly W/Out Wings!

S#@t! The weekend is HERE already! No, I'm not complaining it just seems like the weeks are FLYING by lately! Right? We only have two measly days to enjoy to ourselves so you may as well start on Friday night I say. And what better way than with the Ahficionados set spinning down stairs at Katra! It's a couple of b'days going on tonight so it'll be packed. Oh btw it's FREE! Yep free ALL NIGHT just say "the Minority Report" at the door when the not so tough bouncer asks you "Who's list you're on?" Come through, I GOT YOU!

Every Fri.
"Funky Buddha"
Katra -
Bowery betwn Prince & Rivington
Music by the Ahficionados (downstairs)
FREE admission just say "The Minority Report"

This Saturday, the "I Love ViNYl" boys are at it AGAIN! This time they're having a contest for FREE admission to enter the party. Ok here's the contest question:
"What were the first five songs played at last month's I Love Vinyl party?"
The Prizes: People who correctly identify the titles and artists of the five songs will be entered into a random drawing to win three brand new releases, on virgin vinyl, from this month's party's label sponsor. Two runners up will win free admission to this Saturday!

Need a hint? click HERE!
E-mail what you THINK are the answers to
No later than 12 noon Saturday. Enjoy

This Sunday Butch Diva is "linkin' up" with Daoud Abeid + Trina Sunshine to present

"The Night of The Dancehall Queen!"
Deity- 368 Atlantic Ave.
10pm - 4am
Music by DJ Hard Hittin' Harry
Ladies FREE till 12am! $5 after
Gents $10
A Queen will be crowned!
Ladies come dressed to kill and ready to wiiine!
If you need some "SPANDEX + CHAOS" to wear, hit up NOW! It's the Sunday Reggae party that everyone is talking about!

Then of course everyone talking about what they're wearing to Brooklyn's BIGGEST FREE Halloween event, "Monsters Ball" Remember for Free entree you just gotta rsvp HERE or HERE, you can even send names here theMreport
too! Also a costume/mask OR all black dress attire is required as well, no BS! Hey you're getting in for FREE is THAT too much to ask for? I see some folks are charging to get in, you got buy tickets yada yada yada...Dude, it's FREE! Plus we have 3flrs, 4DJs, food till 12am, and NYC's best club DJ, DJ Goldfinger's playing! Are you serious?!? Don't be a "pumpkin head" on this one and miss out!

Sat. Oct. 31st Halloween Night

the Brooklyn Circus, Harriet's Alter Ego, Alador & Smith, The Breakfast Club, the Ahficionados, the Stylistic Agency & the Minority Report present...

- Brooklyn's Most Fashionable Halloween Event

No. #1 Front St. -near Old Fulton & Water St. in Dumbo

Music By: DJ Goldfinger, DJ Trauma, the Ahficionados, & BKC's DJ Kohei

Dress in costumed or all black fashionable attire a must!
FREE admission w/rsvp
$$$ at door w/out costume or proper attire. (For FREE entree you have 3 options: A - wear a costume, B - wear a mask. or C - com dressed in all black)

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

"Wildin' Out!" -Where The Wild Things Are Review

Man WHAT was I thinking? Sunday morning I wake up earlier THINKING I was gonna beat the weekend rush of movie goers to get rudely awakened once I showed up to by tickets. My OTHER mistake was thinking it was more geared towards adults than kids (which it was). But low and behold, the theater was packed like it was a class trip up in there! True it's a classic children's book but, the book only has like 4 pages of dialogue (if even that). So Spike's (Jonze) version is more a reinterpretation than it is a screen version of the book. The movies sets up a quick paced back story of the young lead's (Max) adventure off from reality. Single parent, youngest sibling child, w a short attention span yet a vivid imagination, is the gist of Spike's "Max" in this re-telling. After lashing out due to a lack of attention, being that mom has a late evening "booty call' over, Max bounces for a walk on the "wild side." First off, the mood and tone are spot perfect to bring this story up to date & modernize this tell. Plus the "muppets" costume were EXACTLY how you would envision them to be...If they were real of course. The voice overs done by the likes of James Gandolfini ("Carol"), Forest Whitaker ("Ira"), Katherine O'Hara ("Judith") and such, were spot on witty. But somehow the sound guys mixing didn't blend it in to sound like it was coming from them naturally. But that's just my opinion. Other than that, I give it a thumbs up for a great translation to film what the book cared to leave out. I think this will be a round and last the test of time much like the book did. I giving it 3 out of 4 M's

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

"Kings RULE!" -County Of Kings Review

Did I ever tell you about the time I went to go see this play Spike Lee's producing call "County of Kings?" Well let me start from the top. About two weeks ago I get a e-mail from someone stating how they would like and appreciate it if I was able to post info informing folks about the play. And being that my blog is SO pro-Brooklyn that it would be in my best interest being that the plays' story line is based FROM (Sunset Park) Brooklyn. And they were right. After some back and forth correspondence, I naturally asked "Well is it possible to SEE the play? There's a guest list/will call right?" Just like that he was able to set up a time & day that I would be able to attend a show. Okay, so the day comes, it's an 8 o'clock show on a Saturday, and I'm there at the box office 7:45 sharp and...NO NAME! "WHAT?!? You gotta be kidding me?" I said, in my mind of course. What made things worst was I couldn't remember the name of the person whom originally contacted me and placed me on the list (or apparently didn't). Sucks. Finally after throwing some names around "Cultural Projects" rung a bell and the "lost" tix were uncovered and in we go. The theater (located in the city on Lafayette next to Joe's Pub) was a comfortable size for what I didn't realize was a one man play. The set up inside reminded me of a live TV set. Not a lot of rows, but wide. My luck, I wound up seated next to some dude that may have been a benched Knicks player or Chewbacca's stunt double! Yes, he was just THAT tall! Who keep crossing his legs the whole time, which crossed MINE! And his shoes reached all the way in the next TWO rows in front of us. Good thing he wasn't in the first row, he would've been tripping the actor on stage. LOL. But enough about him, on to the show. Not to spoil it for you but, after a brief warm up set of old school Hip-Hop over the PA, Lemon (the only actor) bust onto the scene through a side door as his intro. Had I not noticed everyone else remain calm and in their seats, I would've swore it was a fire alarm going on! Lemon wastes no time "going in" with what turns out to be a long form sing songy poem about his childhood to manhood struggles of growing up among troubled parents. What was fasinating for me to watch was his dedication to memory of both his lines AND his detailed account of his upbringing. Each character is portrayed with humorous accuracy and affection. True New Yorkers will appreciate his story to glory as well as casual theater goers that have even a keen sense of humor. When your mother names you Lemon make lemonade!

Saturday, October 17, 2009

"Ya Dig?"- Black Dynamite Explodes In Theaters! Kaboom Baby!

Now how come I didn't hear about this sooner? Not that it's too late to see it but I had already committed to going to see "Where The Wild Things Are" last weekend. Now mind you, there are two trailers floating around out there on the web, but to me this is the funniest of the two. It's a parody of those 70's blaxploitation films and I must say it looks as if that did a dope job of it judging from the clip alone! I may go see it later today if I find time LOL. Dude who played "Spawn" and the Black gangster in "The Dark Knight" is the lead, plus you'll see some OTHER familiar faces as well too.

Friday, October 16, 2009

"The Monster Mash Up!" -"Boo"-klyn Fashion Comes To Halloween In Dumbo! were about to PAY to get into a Halloween party knowing you spent X amount of dollars on the costume already?!? Whoa, slow it down, I have JUST the thing for you to attend. This year Brooklyn's BIGGEST fashion ambassadors have united to present & host the most elegent Halloween event ever witnessed in BK! 3 levels of music, 4 DJs, food till 12pm, AND special giveaway prizes is a sure best bet. Here's the catch for FREE (!) entree; A. costume, or B. a mask. or C. all black attire is MANDATORY! Simply just RSVP names & you're good to go. Other wise expect to pay if you even get in the packed doors!

Sat. Oct. 31st
the Brooklyn Circus, Harriet's Alter Ego, Alador & Smith, The Breakfast Club, the Ahficionados, the Stylistic Agency
& the Minority Report

present & host

"MONSTERS BALL" -Brooklyn Most Fashionable Halloween Event
No. #1 Front St. -near Old Fulton & Water St. in Dumbo
Music by DJ Goldfinger, DJ Trauma,
the Ahficionados, & BKC's DJ Kohei
Dress in costumed or all black fashionable attire a must!
FREE admission w/rsvp
$$$ at door w/out costume or proper attire.

Drink specials 10-11pm
Kitchen open till 12pm
on Facebook HERE
VIP tables
or B'day parties contact e-mail as well

FYI* photos will be taken as part of an upcoming book based on Brooklyn fashion so...

Thursday, October 15, 2009

"Finding Nemo? Nah, Finding Neo!" -Looking For "The One!"

"What am I holding in my hands you ask? Oh the red is for you baby, it's "the morning after pill" And the blue one is for me, it's my "all night long before" pill! Good ol' Viagra!"

That usually was the conversation I had after a long night of partying hard and bring home some fine young thang that RSVP'd for the private after party (wink, lol)! But now with this damn recession, the only bottles being popped are beer ones. However tough times are NO reason for us to abandon our good manners is it? I feel more conversation between the sexes should be discussed about "booty call" etiquette. Everyone wants to be respected in the morning, but some HAS to been given the night before right? Okay, I will try my best to list some helpful hints to guide you through a proper "jump-off" so it can be "on" again somewhere in the future too.

If you're excepted me or company to come over invite "Mr. Clean" over first BEFORE "Mr. Right! Nothing worse than showing up at yo crib and the bed is covered in un-hung dirty clothes or your kids toys! You can't get mad at me if you find "tadpoles" on you favorite BCBG dress. Nor do I like Play-do clumped up in my "private Benjamin hairs" or action figures poking me in my ass. NO!!!

Be kind to the physical appearance of your partner when he or she is undressed. Yelling out "Hey, you better put that thing away before a bird comes pull it out the ground!" or "You ever try catching fish with that thing?" isn't sexy talk. Or guys saying "It feels like I'm on safari down here" or "Looks like a cave in a thick forest!" is insensitive and rude I might add. Be nice people. I usually hear "I thought it was illegal to keep a Boa in a NYC apt." Till I show them papers that, yes you can keep one.

Look at 4:00-5:00 in the morning I'm tired too! Trust me "morning wood" aka "fresh lumber" is just as good in the rising sun hours as it is in the twilight ones. Depending on HOW good it may be, you might convince the other to take a sick day off (wink). Unless they're unemployed, in between jobs at the time. Then you have a problem on your hands.

Perception is EVERYTHING! You may not be exclusive to one another but pulling out a Cost-Co size box of condoms is spooky for ANYBODY! Fake it like you're fumbling around for them for a sec or two, make things SEEM spontaneous. Everyone knows out of a box of 60 and your down to 12 left those others joints were NOT used as party balloons my friend. Ladies ask if he has one first before you jump up and offer.

"Sniff, sniff" you smell that? No? Well s**t I DO and it's a problem!" Wash people. All that "moonwalking" and "signaling the plane" CAN work up a mean sweat in your lower regions. An after club shower (together perhaps) will fix that in no time lickety split. If not then no lickety I'll just split...out!

Look I know you get FREE nights and weekends but SHEESH! Texting butt ass naked "Hey, I got in safe he FINALLY woke up this time!" can wait till morning. After four or five unreplied texts, your girlfriends will figure it out. Or read about you in the papers next day (lol)! Either way I'm KILLIN' it!

BTW ever hear of No-doz, or Red Bull, perhaps even a cup of coffee? Well next time don't have her/him travel great distances to "get some" only to fall asleep and not answer/hear texts/phone calls/ door bell/ banging door/ whistles/ car horn/ WTF's. If you're TOO tired to stay up then you're too tired to "stay up!"

Ummm, I saw ALL those wash cloths in your bathroom, after sex can get one wet WARM one PLEASE? I'm a guest here, or does the hot water NOT work? At least a Wet-Wipe maybe...
No? You must like me looking like a Krusty Kreme donut huh?

Also if you know it's the wee hours of the morning and I have neighbors "Shhhh!" keep it down a bit. It sounds as if we have gospel choir practice up in here. With all this calling of Jesus name, and "Oh GOD!", and "Sweet Mary, Joseph & baby Jesus" you be doing. My neighbors are use to hearing gun shots, a young teen's baby crying, and stray cats in heat in the far distance, anything else throws them off and keeps them up at night. So "pillow talk" and use your indoor voice okay?

Lastly (for now at least) If you KNOW I'm following you on Twitter, and I see "Just finish fakin' it AGAIN! I think the cab ride over did more "bumping" then he did! LMAO. Is a bit rude (and false I might add). Think the next time(if there is one) I'll just "fake" like I'm asleep and NOT hear the door bell then. LOL

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

"Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow!" -Chris Rock Goes To The Root Of Black America's Hair.

The always politically incorrect comedian Chris Rock (you remember him? From SNL, New Jack City's "Pookie" and he DID have his own show at one time? Yeah him.) has a new gotten his hands tangled up in the on going African-American debate over the quality of hair ie "good hair." I've been hearing the buzz going about how funny and informative this movie's message is. Will it change anything? I doubt it, but who really knows? Fact is that based on personal self image and social acceptance, women (yes some men too) have taken issue over their "wig piece." Me personal, I'm a naturalist. I'd rather it be short and stylish, than long and had a previous owner. But that's just me, I think I'm allergic to weave to be honest. That and cat hair (which is the same thing FYI) always agitates my eyes something awful man! Hopeful the film will enlighten a few and wake black Americans up out of the "weave matrix." Comb over the trailer and tell me your thoughts on this one.

"Fat, Black And Ugly As Ever, However..." -Precious Trailer

Another movie that's getting high praise and has some powerhouse backers (Oprah & Tyler Perry) is the silver screen version of the Sapphire penned book "Push" now titled "Precious." The story's centered around this young teen (who SHOULD have been cast lead in the movie "Notorious" instead of Gravy) that's dealing with the obstacles of poverty, illiteracy, a verbally abusive mother, weight, and the fact that her two children fathered by her own father! Thought you had problems huh? You'll have to either read the book, or better yet support the movie, to find out how it all turns out for her. Set to release on Nov. 6th in limited theaters, here's the preview trailer you can gawk at. for now.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

"Back To The Drawing Board...Ummm Desk!" -Not Ebay, Mbay! Everything Must GO!!!

I have this high end, modern designed, computer desk that I purchased from Jensen & Lewis a while ago that I have absolutely no use for any more.It has wheels, frosted glass and a pull out drawer to boot. I decided to part with it for the cool price of $120 bucks or (best offer). I need to make space for another DVD rack for my ever growing porno collection (lol). If interested hit me and come scoop it up w/cash in hand & ready to move it. I'll even help you move opening the doors and saying "Careful, it's glass coming through!" okay. No seriously, I'll even thrown in a chair with it too, no lie.

"Rockin' That Thang" -Pictures From "Rock The Block BK" That's Long Overdue!

WAAAAY overdue, I FINALLY got the chance to go through and edit the tons of pics I took at "Rock the Block BK" this year! I'm shocked that I got THIS many simply cause I was SO busy running around trying to maintain some order out this bitch (lol)! I remember this day having every emotion you can think of running through me. But I managed to remain calm at all times. I'm a professional. Anyway, I found it fitting that my 1000th posting(!) to the Minority Report (go head,it's ok to clap) be an event close to my heart (and arts). I tried my best to capture what I could be hey, I can't be EVERYWHERE at once can I? Honestly I was waiting on the video link to post all at once so you can blame some of the lateness on Soul Purpose Media like I did. Rock on!

"Come Follow Me Into The Matrix"