"Ebully" -the Conclusion Pt2.

As you may (or may not) recall, I posted a quite funny story about an ebay purchase I had made some weeks back, that started a hostile exchange of words. Due to the fact that I left a not so positive feedback comment. We'll here's the rest to that confrontation.

He wrote back:
Pardon the Internet colloquialism, but LOL. You think you are funny and/or clever! Your "lawyers" should be hard at work getting you off on that drug test, instead of worried about some "whatnowapparentdinnerdate?" with me. That might just be the emptiest most unbelievable threat I ever heard. What are they going to eat of mine and why so metaphorically animated. Why worry about a drug test, anyhow? How do you know how an "illegal substance" smells anyway? I myself didn't smell anything but Febreeze and an old sweater. WHY (in capital letters) would I advertise something as smoke smelling at all, let alone when I smelled nothing of the sort on it; granted I didn't go whiff crazy. When did I "ebully" you? I only attempted to get you to remove your flippant assumption you call feedback and explained to you the sweater was a smoker's and that I did my best aside from wash it before selling. I don't feel unethically of this listing, though may have considered partial refund for someone of civil nature.. There's plenty of people who see "smelled like smoke" as petty, especially concerning used clothes. You went over the top, though, with your wanna-be Colombo, cross-eyed, awkward attempt at channeling "the dude" from The Big Lebowski. We are not "dudes". We are a couple who do this to help support our family. We do NOT use drugs!! You made your comments in anger at yourself for not having given the sweater a good sniff before wearing. You are mad at yourself for not noticing, until it was noticed by someone else, probably! I don't argue that it's within range for someone to complain about smoke smell but I do see it as minor, as I said, because we have these wonderful inventions that wash clothes (you seem to be familiar with a sweater steamer. I don't see it as minor for someone to insinuate drug use with no proof but an odd smelling sweater.The fair thing for all concerned is to change your feedback to smelled like smoke in the very least. Please don't threaten me again.

Huh? Word? Okay, so my smart ass says:
The Force is strong with you, I am on to your Jedi mind tricks. However, I will do your bidding (no pun intended) Darth Jasonstina. I felt first threatened by your first comment of "change your feedback NOW!" Forgive folks for wanting FULL disclosure on stuff that purchase ESPECIALLY over the Internet my friend. NEVER in my history of buying clothes at flea markets, thrift stores, yard sales, craig's list, out of business sales, bargain bins, lost lease gotta move, or even FIRE sales for that matter, have I ever brought clothes that the seller sold that smelled of smoke. So pardon my Internet colloquialism BMF ("buy more fabreeze") oh and here's one more FYI "dude" is just a simply a general saying, a pro-noun if you will. Had I known you was a couple, then I would have used "dudes". But thanks for the clarity. I won't make that mistake again. You're kidding about "How do I know what an illegal substance smells like?" Right? How do YOU know? Your answer would pretty much be like mine.

Finally, feeling defeated he replied:
I was waiting patiently for Star Wars references, and am now feeling rewarded. I wager you were sarcastic about feeling threatened but do want to be clear I never intended to be threatening. I don't remember including 'NOW!', but we'll agree that sentiment surely did live within my message. I believe "smoke smell" is full disclosure as the rest is conjecture. I was kidding about the smell thing, they teach 2nd graders that stuff, but convictions do not lie in smell alone, which was my point and why I refer to it as conjecture. In some ways you played judge & jury, so to speak. Onto the dude thing; it's not the word it's the context. Your sentence is a cheeky sardonic attempt at mimicking a pothead while giving chastisement. Maybe I over thinking things. Being a smoker, I don't share the value vacuum opinion you hold of smoke smell. I will BMF (lol..I guess you CAN be funny) and implement The Mothball/Downy Scenario 7b as well, because of this. I understand non-smokers and others share your opinion and will try harder to appease them, sincerely. So never feel like you aren't a tool of improvement! (((you know you intended the pun, too!!)))

Now who said you can't meet good people on eBay?