"Fools' Gold"- Black Market Babies

I don't know if you've heard (or even experienced this) but it seems to be a rash of bootleg condoms floating around town. Yep...booty condoms! And why oh why do they happen to be the kind that I frequently use, the Trojan Magnums ? During a recent convo (forgot just how this came up...no pun intended) but we we're all appalled by the notion that someone would sell (let alone make) "flim flams"...especially in the hood! Don't we have enough illegitimate kids runnin' round? First it was "Test Tube Babies", now it's "Bootleg Babies?" I can just see the first lawsuit court case "Leroy v.s. Ali's Bodega" and him bringing the kid to court as evidence. A key sign that you're about to use a "shame inner tube" is the real ones have thin metallic packaging, as for the "fakies" they're wrapped in super thin non-recyclable plastic. If "Muhammad" sells you a fugazi rubber, I say use it, carefully place it back in the wrapper (if you haven't nervously ripped it to threads already) and take it right back to the store, slam it down on the counter and say "Here! Now it's TWO scumbags in this store! Goodnight!"