Monday, June 9, 2008

"Just A Thought"- Sex Cells Right?

I was just thinking the other day of how much easier it would be if we all took the same steps that we do when purchasing a cell phone, and just simply applied them to when we get into a relationship. Pause for a moment and give it some thought. Look, here's the "plan."

You would sign a 2yr. contract to stay with that "service provider."
"No contact or (pay-as-you-go)" -that would be a no-strings sex partner.
"Roaming" -I guess can be, when either one of you are out of town it's okay to make out with some stranger.
"Unlimited texting" -would now be unlimited sexing.
"Free nights and weekends" -would be just that. I'm FREE to see you (or not) on nights & wknds.
"Mute" -is no talking after sex, "Speaker phone" -loud sex.
"Three-way calling" -a ménage à trois.
"Drop calls" -are when you keep standing someone up for a date.
"No reception"-a sexless date
"Wrong number" -bad date or bad sex
"Ear piece" -he/she's a good listener
"Mobile" -out on a date, "Cradle charger"-home
"Bluetooth" -Umm that could stand for oral sex...I'm guessing.
And a "Touch Screen" -well that's heavy fondling.

Now who would I speak to to get the wheels in motion to make this happen. Can't you just hear the conversation?
"I went mobile with Sarah last night, and we winded up
back at her cradle charger man!"
I tried to text her, but couldn't get no reception.
But have you seen her roomie?
Boy would I like to get in on a three-way call with her!
I'd even settle for bluetooth."

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