"Shoe-ggestions!" -Hey, If The Shoe Fits..."the Fashion 500" Puts It's Foot In It.

Even if you have the slightest hint of fashion sense, it's a bit unnecessary for me to tell you that shoes play a MAJOR part of any outfit. If you're clueless to this then no point even talking to you any longer LOL. But for those in the know, I just wanted to "put my foot down" about the look we're striving for for this Saturday's "Fashion 500" event...DRAMATIC! Do you to the ten power, sort to speak. Blow the dust off of those shoe box that NEVER seen the light of day, and strut in rockin' your bestest! Don't think I just talking to the ladies either fellas! Bootleg Prada from Fulton St. are NOT "what's up!" Wingtips, suede loafers, driving mocs, penny loafers, boat shoes and the like, are all on the "thumbs up" list if you're still trying to decide your look for the night. Bottom line...enjoy yourselves, and feel GREAT about what you're wearing. Even BEFORE you put it on! They'll be TONS of pics be taking, don't end up on Facebook or Essence.com (Clutch mag, Uptown mag, Swagger 360) or wherever the pics are posted looking WRONG! *Shoe paparazzi shots courtesy of Swagger 360!

"Fashion is BACK in the Black"-Style Guide Courtesy for "the Fashion 500" of Swagger 360

Don't in any way take this personal, but in MY opinion the average dude DOESN'T quite get it, when it comes to dressing. Casual or otherwise! But instead of griping about it, certain folks like my man Guerre here (of the Swagger 360 blog fame) or other key figure chose to work on changing all that simply by helping cats out. Now even more so with the Black Fashion Month's first event ("the Fashion 500"), it's more important than ever! So without further ado, here's a visual aide/guide to put some caring folks on the RIGHT path. Thank him later. FYI* Our good friends over @ GQ mag posted a neat little list of Black iconic figures that were fashionable without trying to be. Peep that HERE!

"Badu To The Bone!" -Ameryrah the Beautiful

Ms. Badu hits the ground running with not only a NEW CD on the way (New Ameryrah Pt.2) but also a top secret, hush hush, concert this Saturday! I always look forward to hearing what she has to offer to the musically playing field when she decides to release new music. Hopes up high, fingers crossed. I can see it now, Eryrah touring with Jay Electronic opening up, Common the second act, then Andre 3000 gets co-head line billing and her closing the show out right?!?

"Freak Of The Weak!" -Usher Gets A Lil' Freaky W/Nicki Minaj

I must admit this song really grow on me hard! Well mainly because of the Stevie Wonder ("Livin' In The City") sample used during the chorus. But I dig it done the less. However on the flip side of that, I'm not too too keen on this new rap "it" chick Nicki (or even Usher for that matter) pushing this loose lifestyle to young female fans just to stay current & edgy. Where's the social responsibility here? Are we selling souls or records? I can bet Stevie is turning over in his grave at the songs lyric used to his original classic song! Oh Stevie NOT dead yet? Well then this song would kill him, THEN he'd be in his grave turning over! BTW Usher NO more club scene videos for you! You're too big of an artist NOT to be more creative than this! And don't give me that "record company recession" crap! If Kanye can spend money on his own videos so can you brother. Might as well one LONG ass video where EVERY song happens in the SAME DAMN club! Feel me? Now your turn to judge...

"Do It To The Music!" -Getting Fresh Now Has It's Own Soundtrack

Seems like today with the convenience of portable players, MP3 and iPods and such, folks have music at their finger tips (literally) to help them create or get them out of WHATEVER mood that they happen to be in. Go to work, at work, working out, "twerking" out...all that can be done with music in the background playing. Just think Broadway plays have soundtracks, (of course) films have soundtracks. Hey, why the f@#k NOT a soundtrack to a PARTY? I'll admit, (and I'm pretty sure you have too) I've gotten dressed to go out, with the mirror in the front and the music in the back (of you blasting). Be honest, you even do a spin and point at yourself too right? Well the spin & pointing part's NOT cool, but hey, whatever works to get you hyped to start off a GREAT night right? Anyways long story short, the Block Association is about creating EXPERIENCES! Even before you even walk through the doors. From the look of the invite/flier, to the trailer commercials, the visual aide maps to get there, and now THIS..."the Fashion 500" soundtrack! To be played while you shop, get dressed, drive over, and most of all, to be remembered! This is your life baby, be apart of something historical. Black Fashion Month begins Sat.April 3rd! Get dressed to make history...


"the Fashion 500" soundtrack-DJ Trauma (Soundproof) & Frei (of the Ahficionados)

"Some TIGHT Ass Jeans!" -Reebok Pays Tribute To Jean-Michael Basquiat

Now I'm a HUGE HUGE fan of the iconic artist Basquiat, And realized unless I hit the lottery miraculously (even though I've NEVER played it), I will NEVER own an original piece of his artist work! Well with the help of Reebok, all that's about to transform. Yeah I know it's NOT an original piece but s#@t, I'm not mad at having to settle for one of these! There's one more model I have my eye on (on pictured here) called the Omni Mid...Me likey!

"Art Of The Concrete Jungle" -Eye Know Brooklyn!

"We are ALL animals! Some just choose to be domesticated, and other still roam WILD!"
-the Minority Report

"Drake's Cake!" -Thank Me Later's Track Listing...Supposedly!

Rap's elected "Neo" and radio's new "it" guy Drake's much buzzed about & highly anticipated 1st "official" CD is soon to be released. So folks on the net are going coo coo trying to find leaked tracks and such to have a lead over everybody else on breaking the news that it's gonna be great or not. Well I personal have some new stuff of his (track wise) but I'll play fair for now and just leak the track listing to you guys to get an idea of what to expect from ol' boy...or rather new boy.

"Thank Me Later"

1. Intro

2. The One

3. Love & Guns

4. Shut It Down (Feat. The Dream)

5. Return the Favor

6. Light Up (Feat. Jay-Z)

7. It’s Not Personal

8. Hold On

9. She Goes, I Go

10. Fireworks

11. Riding Music (Feat. Young Jeezy)

12. Don’t Change (Feat. Kid Cudi & Kanye West)

13. Fiction (Feat. Andre 3000)

14. Go Hard

15. Fear (Pt. II)

16. Momma

17. I Love H.E.R. 2010

* Forever (Feat. Eminem, Kanye West & Lil Wayne)

"Get On Your Mark...Get Set...SHOP!" -the Fashion 500 Sets New Records!

You ever look through your closet and spotted that one item of clothing (with the tags till on it) that you promised yourself one day you'd wear, and that occasion just NEVER came around? Or went shopping and came across this unique piece that you just HAD to buy on the spot, not knowing when you'd ever wear it? Well rejoice my friend...THAT time has finally come! In a national bid to get black fashion recognized for it's OWN month, the Block Association collective will be hosting the very first EVER Black Fashion Month Spring formal event, to kick off the season. Ironically it also happens to be Easter weekend. Which is all the more reason to start "poppin' tags" & "throw it in the bag" for the date of Sat. April 3rd. If you ain't got it, this is a good reason to get it! Over 500 attendees complied up of trendsetters, make-up artist, stylist, personal shoppers, retail buyers, boutique owners, and general lovers of all out fashion will be present to help us make HISTORY through fashion. "Life is a runway, dress the part." Here's the details!

The BLOCK ASSOCIATION humbly presents..
"the Fashion 500" -the 1st EVER Black Fashion Month Formal
Saturday, April 3rd (Easter Weekend)

No.1 Front St. (near Old Fulton St. Dumbo)
10-4am
Music by the Ahficionados & Soundproof Hybrid
Hosted By Brooklyn Circus, Beckenberg, Pedigree, Private Stock, Alador & Smith, La Vedette, Box Kitten

Dress code: Spring Formal, Camera Ready!
Adv. tix $20
RSVP for tix w/ contact # to : theMreport@gmail.com

"You Oughta Know!" -Things You Needed To Add To Your Play Schedule

A party started last week Friday returns this week with one of my top 3 DJ's! None other than DJ Goldfinger will be headlining the bill TONIGHT at Promenade's NEW Friday night weekly affair titled "project: Refresh!" The weather PERFECT for new things!

TONIGHT!
"project: Refresh!" -every Friday
Promenade-W. 28th near 7th ave.
11pm-4am
Music by DJ Goldfinger
Ladies FREE till 1am (say Al/the Minority Report) @ the door, Gents $10 till 1am

Then this coming THUR
SDAY March 25th, from 7pm until the cows come home Vault of Harlem will be celebrating the change of seasons with an open house event. Music will be provided by Vault's very own DJ Majastee, with special guest appearances by (me) the M Report, T.L. Cross & The Wire's Panama. I'm not from Harlem but THIS I will be at
Event Info:

Thursday March 25th, 2010
Vault's Spring Soriee
VAULT - 2498 Frederick Douglass Blvd. Harlem, NY 10030
7pm - Until
Admission: FREE
Performances by: T.L. Cross & The Wire's "Panama"
Music by: DJ Majastee, & the M Report
Complimentary bar by –
Event sponsored by – SPRITE
Event production and management by – The YUME Group
For more info and directions please call 212.281.1723

Did you know that Black Fashion Month is starts in April? Saturday, April 3rd (Easter Weekend) will be the 1st EVER event to kick-off the celebration. Please join us to make HISTORY! "the Fashion 500" tix will be on sale ($20 adv.) soon come. For now, please feel free to start shopping for outfits NOW! Come out Spring time fresh! Like this couple pictured here.

"Ass Backwards!" -Women Got Too Much Chaulk!

Now come on...I KNOW you been hearing about the whole story pertaining to these chicks out in Jersey (probably Jersey Shore right? That's what you were thinking too? I know.) that was going to this "fugazi" doctor to get "Ass-plants" and got back shots of caulk instead! CRAZY right?!? Well folks the world gets even CRAZIER! I'm hearing word on the streets that now some women are getting flavors injected into their BREASTS to change the taste of their breast milk!?! Just image strawberry flavored Quik milk coming out of your lady's "chest pillows!" Well now that I'm writing about it, I'm thinking that doesn't sound SO bad after all. Just a lil' weird perhaps. But hey, I happen to like strawberry milk, but that's just me folks. Just thought you ladies oughta know the options to there. LOL!

"Cha-Cha-Cha-Cheadle!" -Boys To Iron Men

I wouldn't believe it unless I saw it with my own two eyes man! But there it is folks, ya boy Don Cheadle has his own ACTION figure! I know you my be TOO grown to play with toys , but you GOTTA cop this for just history sake. I can count on one hand and half a hand how many black action figure EVER existed. Sam Jackson is in this one as well playing the usually portraits as white comic book character Nick Fury of S.H.I.E.L.D. so I'm thinking that will be another figure to add to the list. Let's just hope these guys are seeing real figure$ off of there likenesses! Right!

"I Got My Mind Right, Money Right..." -Get Yo Ass Taxed!

Oh, wait...you ain't think he was ALL about partying & bulls#@t did you? Nah sister, we's about that paper too man! And if you about yours, and are in need of your taxes done, with expertise precision, then you best get up with none other than the Stylistics Agency/Acacia Ultd. own Lyshaan Hall (aka L.A.) my friends. Heading his own tax business for over 6 years in the game now, I can personally say he's one of the best out there right now doing it independently! Think "the Drake of taxes", then that would give you an idea of how hot he is right now! Last year he got me back personally 3,500 back on my return...and I don't even WORK! I gambled it all away after a bought myself a new iTouch, but that's besides the point. That boy there NICE! But enough talk here's his "Ten Tax Commandments" So gangster!



ACACIA ULTD presents

"the FUNDOUGHMENTALS"
an evening with financial cultivators

Whether coming from poverty or prosperity, this Jeopardy meets Forbes magazine-esque event, provides tools and resources during this time of financial uncertainty.
Part quiz bowl, part panel, part fundraiser, part "go to this event because they've got food".

FEATURING:
Lyshaan Hall, Financial Cultivator, Acacia Unlimited Financial Services
Brooke Stephens, Financial Consultant, Author of TALKING DOLLARS, MAKING SENSE
Kevin A. Pemberton, Philanthropist & Vice President, Neuberger Berman
LaVerne Walker, Director of Financial Aid, Weill Cornell Medical College

TOPICS:
*Common mistakes in tax preparation
*Budgeting towards wealth creation
*Making financial aid work for you
*Benefits of giving back

DETAILS:
Thursday, March 18, 2010
6:30 - 8PM
Restoration Plaza - Community Room
1368 Fulton St, Brooklyn, NY 11216
(A/C to Nostrand)

ADMISSION:
$1 (not a typo, there are no zeros. okay wait, $1.00)
Light Refreshments
rsvp@acaciaultd.com

*All proceeds directly benefit 3 local youth programs & reflect Acacia Unlimited's commitment to youth investment.

The Stoop // Hoods to Woods // Lil' Raggamuffin Summer Camp

"I Know You See Me In The Video..." -Not Too Gaga Over These Videos!

Hey there folks got two new videos making the rounds over the 'Net that you may or may not have seen already. The 1st the the already banned from MTV collabo w/ (over hyped) Lady Gaga and (over exposed) Beyonce' teaming up for "Telephone." Then there Big Boi's solo effort return w/ a song titled "Fo' Yo' Sorrows" which to me is lyrically tight! But I'm not counting on this being a "radio killa" like his past stuff. Here... you take a look see.

"Goes Down Smooth & Melo-X!" -New Vibes From The Triple Threat

After a year of traveling the World, DJing, creating, partying and producing Melo-X gets back on his fly s#@t!. "Audio Foreplay", a prelude to his soon to drop album entitled "Sonic Intercourse" (Spring/Summer). As a producer "Audio Foreplay" stretches his boundaries of all his talents can offer. Hopefully you guys stretch your minds and enjoy this mix.

P.S. Melo-X promises to get back on his rap s#!t with "Mustafa The GodKing: Rise of the Merch".

Download Link: "AUDIO FOREPLAY"

"Why Oh Y-3!" -It Must Be The Shoes!

Ahhhhh, Spring is upon us already! I say what better time to rummage through your closet and "refresh" yourself, starting from the ground up. Meaning your footwear that is...well it least in MY mind. I'm a HUGE fan of the Adidas x Yohji Yamamoto designed brand Y-3 so I've posted below my picks on where my feet (or footsteps) should follow. If you see ANY of these models while you're out and about, give me a holla! I'm trying change clothes & GO!

"Become A BLOCK Head!" -the Block Association Goes Viral!

Thank you for waiting patiently while we placed you on hold.We just wanted to make sure you got the best customer service possible. And trust me when I say, the wait will be well worth it!
We set out to create a positive movement toward high quality events to challenge people to party not only with a purpose but with penuche! So far if you've attended/heard about through word of mouth our previous events ("BK All Day"-July 4th, "Monsters Ball"-Halloween Night, "Casino Royale"-New Year's Eve, "My Uber Sunday"-Super Bowl Sunday) you understand the direction we're going in...which UP and FORWARD! So Saturday April 3rd (Easter weekend) the Block Association is humbly extending an invitation to you to attend our BIGGEST movement yet! The 1st EVER Black Fashion Month kick-off celebration! We have Black History Month (Feb.), Black Music Month (June), Black Fashion (April) deserves it's own...and it's about time! Join us to make HISTORY! Here's the details so far and other projects up our collective sleeves. Thank you for your continued support.

the BLOCK ASSOCIATION more than proudly presents...

"the Fashion 500" -the 1st EVER Black Fashion Month Formal
Saturday, April 3rd (Easter Weekend)

No.1 Front St. (near Old Fulton St. Dumbo)
10-4am
Music by the Ahficionados & Soundproof Hybrid
Hosted By theBrooklyn Circus, Beckenberg, Pedigree, Private Stock, Alador & Smith, La Vedette
Dress code: Spring Formal, Camera Ready!
Adv. tix $20
RSVP for tix w/ contact # to : theMreport@gmail.com

Other projects in development:
"Rock & Bowl" or "Brown Sugar Bowl"-Concert meets bowling night of fun!
"the Hooky Party" aka "Class Trip"-Just as it sounds! Once the weather breaks we'll pick a random day of the week to meet up and roam the city enjoying the Sun, and hit "the crib" to party & cookout!
"White Shirt /Blue Jeans" -the 10th Anniversary reunion is this YEAR! A huge turnout!
"BK All Day!" - July 4th/ One year anniversary of the Block Association!
"Popcorn & Patron" -Movie night,with liquor involved...of course!
"Poppa's Place" -Restaurant Grand Opening (April 9th)
And so MUCH more! Please give me feedback on what you may be interested in or other ideas!

"Be Safe, Use A Strap-On!" -Casting Call For Bike Safety

Casting Call, Commercial Work “Spread Love is the Brooklyn way” we are doing just that & inviting you to join us to shoot for a NYC Department of Transportation
and Transportation Alternatives ad campaign on Saturday March 20th and/or Sunday March 21st. You will be photographed for four ads to appear in the subways, bus shelters, phone kiosks, Bike Month calendar of events and the internet. The campaign will be strictly to promote cycling in New York City only. THIS IS NOT A PAID $HOOT, but a great way to be shot by our personal favorite professional photographer John Midgley for an actual campaign.

Note: Safety is paramount and helmets are going to be a must as well as demonstrating good cycling behavior.
This is a campaign to raise the awareness of cycling as a means of transport for NYC commuters.

Simple Requirements:
We are looking for people who are passionate about cycling in NYC . All ages, genders, sizes, shapes and colors. Must own or can borrow A bicycle. A helmet. A fun disposition and A little patience on shooting day.
Please email: theBrooklyncircus@gmail.com
w/your availability, a picture of yourself, your bicycle, your helmet (go out and buy one, your body will love you for it) and a contact number, mobile preferred. Please indicate if you are an extrovert or camera shy.

"Get Into The Party Life!" -Friday Night, Just Got Paid!

Do You Love Good Music, Sexy People & Fabulous Venues!

Carl Gray of The NetLinkz Group, Inc & Friends
Invite You To...

"VINTAGE"
A Classic Blend of People, Music & Style
with NYC Eclectic Trendsetters and Fashionistas

Friday, March 12th
No. 1 Front St.
Corner of Front St & Old Fulton
DUMBO, Brooklyn

Experience A Musical Journey With Selections From 80's, 90's & Present
Showcasing Best In R&B, House, Hip-Hop, Soul, Ole Skool Classics, Reggae, Dancehall, Soca & Calypso

Mixologists:
Basic Sound Intl - Reggae, Lovers Rock, Roots & Culture
Black Audio Sound - DJ Dutchie & DJ A.K. - Dancehall, Bashment,
DJ Kaos the Main Event - Strata, Star Lounge, BLVD -
DJ Diamond - Beyonce Knowles Tour DJ / Best in R&B, Hip-Hop
DJ Pleasure - 98.7 KISS FM - Classics, Ole Skool, R&B, Reggae
DJ Precise - Salt-n-Pepa DJ - Funk, Soul, Hip Hop,
DJ Spice - TNT - Soca & Calypso, Reggae, Roots & Culture
DJ Tommy Allen - Classics, House, Dance,
& Surprise Mixers

Attire: Stylish, Trendy & Imaginative
TICKETS: $20 Advance / More at Door

BOTTLE & BIRTHDAY PACKAGES AVAILABLE!

Directions
By Train - 2 or 3 To Clark St / A or C to High St-Brooklyn Bridge - Walk to 1 Front St

Then there's...

the reju-
venation of Friday nights has finally begun...

Project: "REFRESH"
Beginning every starting Friday, March 12th

PROMENADE
215 W. 28th Street (bet 7th & 8th ave)

we are all about
breathing life back into
the NYC scene.

the time has come to bring
the good times back to the party!

the mantra is: music. dancing. fun.

music by:
DJ Get Chucked
DJ Ski-Hi
DJ June
DJ Pinnacle

PLUS
the famous $40 open bar package!

Complimentary admission for ladies until 1am
gents: $10 until 1am on the guest list

"He Said / She Said!" -Battle Of The sEXes (Pt.1)

No matter how LONG man has been around, the opposite sex will always be a source of fascination for us. We're always one step away from breaking the mysterious scientific code of how the female (or male) brain works. But till then we're left in the dark always wondering just WHY they do what they do. Anyways recently I posed this Q&A with some guy friends of mine to get a better perspective on the "State of (Love ) Affairs" between the two sexes purely for s#1ts & giggles, & to hear the travesty that goes on out on "the field" that we assume only happens to us, but is surprisingly universal. I asked the gathered group to fill in the blanks to "I once dated a chick that..." and end it with "And she had the nerve to..." and got some rather hilarious comments back, that I'm sure you'll enjoy and share amongst friends & family alike. READ ON!

"I once dated a chick that..."
Wore weave, a heavily padded panties, colored contacts, press on nails,
and got her breast enlarged
And she had the nerve to...
say "Where all the REAL ni99as at?"

"I once dated a chick that...
Had FOUR kids by SIX different baby fathers
"And she had the nerve to..."
Call ME irresponsible!

"I once dated a chick that..."
NEVER paid for dates, dinner, drinks, movies, trips away...nothing!
"And she had the nerve to..."
Ask me while riding in her car "How come you never pay for gas?"

"I once dated a chick that..."
NEVER flushed after herself
"And she had the nerve to..."
Say I wasn't about s#@t , and how come I stay pissing her off!

"I once dated a chick that..."
Had INTENSE multiple orgasms EVERY TIME we had sex
"And she had the nerve to..."
Say I wasn't a dependable guy, she can't count on me (?)

"I once dated a chick that..."
Always sent me lovingly texts, e-mails, we Skyped on a daily basis, Facebook poked each other, and followed each other on Twitter!
"And she had the nerve to..."
Say when we broke up that we didn't know how to communicate!

"I once dated a chick that..."
Forgot we even dated!
"And she had the nerve to..."
Pass off a phony "cell phone" number which happened to be the same as MY home phone #!

"I once dated a chick that..."
Was so dumb she swore a "pothole" was when you burned a hole by mistake through your clothes while smoking weed!
"And she had the nerve to..."
Say "DUH!" after she said it.

"I once dated a chick that..."
Argued me down that Fab's "Throw it in the bag" song is about condoms & safe sex!
"And she had the nerve to..."
Admit to me that he came up with the title when she meet him back stage!

"I once dated a chick that..."
I found out for a fact that she slept with FOUR guys at the SAME time!
"And she had the nerve to..."
Tell me "Oh, I hate having to take the TRAIN!"

WILD right! Well ladies it's YOU'RE turn. I wanna hear your feedback, just to make things fair! I promise I'll post the good ones too, so stay tuned!

"Freaky Tales" -I'm I Wrong For Liking This?

Oh don't think for a minute the cause Jay-Z put Auto-Tune on blast that T-Pain (in the ass) was just going to quietly disappear huh? NOPE! Ain't happening no time soon! Well it least even he has a sense of humor about, and here's why. His fifteen minutes are ALMOST up so may as well end it on a good (auto-tuned) note right? Peep these three episodes from "Freaknic the Musical" I KNOW you'll get a chuckle out of. Thank me later...

"Minority Music" -Get Ya Toilet Paper Out, I Got New Some S#@t!

It's INSANE to me how quick and easy new music is reaching listeners these days! You're not "poppin' " these days unless you have a 3 remixes, a cover song, a couple of rap cameos, a mixtape, and a leaked song floating around on the Internet! Do record stores even exist anymore? Anyways I gathered up some stuff you may (or may not have) been look to add to your "Morning Commute" playlist on the ol' iPod (or iPad, if you're fly like that). Tell me which one you're feely the most, and I'll pretend it even matters to me. LOL.




Andre 3000 -"Lookin' 4 Ya!" (snippet)



Drake -"Over" (1st Single)



T.I. -"I'm Back!"



Usher -"Mars V.S. Venus"

"Man Of Steel?" Nah I'm More Of An Iron Dude!" -New Iron Man 2 Trailer

I must admit, I wasn't REALLY excited to hear the news that they were making an Iron Man movie, simply because I felt it was gonna flop and tarnish my childhood memories of a favorite Avenger of mine. Well 2 years later, let's just say I'm looking forward to the sequel! Iron Man 2 is but months away and I'm in line ALREADY! This 2nd trailer doesn't help either to quell my anticipation. Are YOU just as excited too? *BTW I'm freakin' SHOCKED that this isn't in 3-D like EVERYTHING else (even though I'd STILL see it) LOL!

"I'am No (D') Angel(o)" -Slice of the Humble Pie, Not Devil's

Didn't know if you caught this in the news paper today but it seems like D'Angelo road back from obscurity is hitting some "pot" (pun intended) holes. Now for the second time he's in the headline for something other than new music rumors and an arrest. Earlier Saturday morn, ya boy the "Yoda of Neo-Soul" was arrest for asking for head from an (unknown to him at the time) undercover cop! Reports say it occurred in the West Village, where he was more or likely was taking a break from recording at near by Electric Lady (that Jimi Hendrix once owned) studio. Luckily for you readers of the Minority Report, you get the exclusive inside scoop of the convo that went down between 5-O and D' read along to yourself.

Scene: D'Angelo is "Cruisin' " near Washington Square Park (well known city hang out for prosties & druggies) he pulls up in his Range Rover next to some fly "Spanish Joint" and reported says...

D'Angelo: Hey, slow it down "Brown Sugar!" I got a "Jonz In My Bones" & "I Feel Like Makin' Love." Or at least a good blow job...What's good?

Undercover cop: What you some "Playa Playa" or something? It's gonna cost you to get a slice of this "Devil's Pie"... $40 "Alright?"

D'Angelo: $40 for just head? Well "Greatdayinthemorning!!!" S#@t! Prices done went up "Higher" huh?

Undercover Cop: You gotta know how to treat a "Lady!" Now let me hop in and you can keep driving "Left & Right" till you see this small dark alley and hand me the money.

D'Angelo: Oh you too "Smooth" for me man! Now tell me "One Mo' Gin" it's $40 dollars RIGHT? Just for some kisses on my head? S#@t better be hot like "Chicken Grease" ma!

Undercover Cop: I got that "Untitled" s#@t Poppy! When I'm done you tell me "How Does It Feel?" Once you come down from the roof top! (Laughing) By the way, does anybody tells you you look like D'angelo? You just A LOT fatter than him...No offense.

D'angelo: (Laughing) I hear "The Line" ALL the time ma! None taken, now here's the money bitch...no offense! (Laughing harder)

Undercover Cop: Word? Bitch?!? Well this bitch is placing yo ass under arrest! Now how does THAT feel?!?

D'Angelo: Awww "Shit Damn Motherf@%ker!" I KNEW I shoulda keep my ass in "Africa" with Dave Chappelle on vacation man! It's like I got some bad luck "Voodoo" spell on me! F#@K!

"Alice In Wonder Bland!" -This Cheshire Cat Has NOTHING To Smile About! Alice Review

So I'm hearing that this was the number one movie at the box office this weekend. Which comes as NO surprise to me due to all the hype around it (Depp, 3-D, Burton, the story of Wonderland, yada yada yada) But to make a long review short...I should of supported "Brooklyn's Finest" like the proud "Brooklynista" I am. Because I found the movie to be so wack and bland, I have NO problem spoiling the plot for you. So if you STILL planning on seeing it, don't read ahead. Here's the deal, an older teen Alice is attending her "surprise" engagement party when anxiety hits and sees a vision of the White Rabbit hopping around leading her to that abyss hole she fell into years ago. Why no one uprooted this tree or sealed the hole yet years later, is a mystery to me! Anyway the next scenes we see are of her falling (in 3-D) and shrinking and growing back and forth for damn near 20 mins are so. Twiddle Dumb & Dumber show up and give her a quick tour of west side Wonderland before the Queen of Heart's goons show up and break up their lil' "reunion tea party." Damn, I'm getting bored just writing this, so I'll speed it. The gist is, Alice has been predestined to return to Wonderland as it's savior and return the crown and rule back to the White man...sorry White Queen and make all right with the world again. The End! But not before an 1hr. and a half of talking dogs, frogs, & dragons. Fish as servants, hedgehogs for golf balls, rabbits with A.D.D., a hat making tranny Irish accented Johnny Depp, plus a bong pot smoking caterpillar to boot. I should've gone to see this high, like the rest of the audience around me was...And I don't even smoke!

"Super Size Your Weekend!" -Get Up To Get, Get, Get Down!

Alright folks get you PDA systems out it's time to start planning your days away from the "plantation." Here some choice suggestions that I'm recommending that will make your time away from the gig feel well spent. You ready? Well here's the break down!

After after work Friday, it'll be in your BEST interest to mosey on down to DUMBO's latest "it" spot that we've been warning you about, No.1 Front St. for "the GRAND Deluxe" opening of their first Friday (of each month) series. Think great food (cheap) nice drinks (cheaper) NO admission (FREE!) and you have the key components to the start of something memorable!
I'll be hosting AND spinning tunes that the radio so ignorantly ignores. Bilal to B.I.G., Drake to Dr. Dre, Andre 3000 t0 RJD2, and EVERYTHING in between!

"the GRAND Deluxe" -1st Friday's in BK
@ No.#1 Front St. near Old Fulton
A/C Train to High St.
6pm-11pm
FREE admission
Music by the M report w/ Dj Trauma

Then on the other side of town, @ Little
field, the Ahficio-
nados & DJ Alias join forces to present "the Get Down"
another event where the music IS the star of the party! Words of advice: "Wear COMFY shoes my friend!" Dance floor demons will be released!

"the Get Down"
@ Littlefield -622 Degraw St. (near 3rd & 4th Ave, BK)
Doors open 10:30
Admission $5 Bones
Music by the Ahficionados w/DJ Alias & guest DJ Wonder

Not feeling the club vibe Friday night? Then support your local theater especial when "Brooklyn's Finest" is in the house! Wait, you got Cheadle, Gere, Hawke AND the return of Wesley in gangsta mode! Plus Brooklyn is in the title! WHOA my tix are sold already! I'm gonna have to catch this on Sat. if I'm not too hung over from "the GRAND Deluxe" thing! LOL.

And I KNOW you had to hear about this one right? Tim Burton does his take on the "Wonder
land" thing, That's pure genius! I hope the movie lives up to the hype and isn't just another 3-Disappointment!

Lastly as it gets warmer Target 1st Saturday's at the Brooklyn Museum starts to heat up as well! This is a "no-brainer" folks. It's FREE, it's convenient to get too, and you get to enjoy good music and meet new folks. Oh yeah...you can take in views of the art that's up as well. LOL!