"Ass Backwards!" -Women Got Too Much Chaulk!

Now come on...I KNOW you been hearing about the whole story pertaining to these chicks out in Jersey (probably Jersey Shore right? That's what you were thinking too? I know.) that was going to this "fugazi" doctor to get "Ass-plants" and got back shots of caulk instead! CRAZY right?!? Well folks the world gets even CRAZIER! I'm hearing word on the streets that now some women are getting flavors injected into their BREASTS to change the taste of their breast milk!?! Just image strawberry flavored Quik milk coming out of your lady's "chest pillows!" Well now that I'm writing about it, I'm thinking that doesn't sound SO bad after all. Just a lil' weird perhaps. But hey, I happen to like strawberry milk, but that's just me folks. Just thought you ladies oughta know the options to there. LOL!

"Pop That Thang!"- Booty Pop? Really?

Okay I'VE HAD IT! Enough with the fake hair, the fake press-on nails, colored contacts, boob jobs, lip injections...I'm DONE! They've cross the line with this one! I like a woman's gluteus to be maximus like the next man (I lose my breath when I see a NICE one! Doctor's said I have "ass"-matic bronchitis) but this here...this here is just not right by any means! Fellas just watch you'll be just as OUTRAGED as I was! I'm starting an on-line petition NOW! Take action, don't sit on your REAL ass and do nothing!

"The Bigger, (Really Is) The BETTER!" -The Overweight Lover In the House!

Hey there, just wanted to share a tidbit of news I randomly came across the other day, about some study the University of Colorado was doing on sexually active differences between "thick-boned'd" women and "slimmies." Long story short, the study found that 92% (92% son!) of women considered "over
weight" by society's standards (I like to call'em "meaty sweeties") are MORE sexually active than there thinner peers! Talk about "to thin to win" huh? Or better yet, the "more the merrier" is true in this case right? Bottom line, what I'm REALLY trying to say is, don't stare at me with those judging eyes if you happen to see me out and about, gallivanting around town with a lady, past size 8 on my arm. I'm conducting my own "field research" okay!?! "Dimes" are nice, but you get more with "quarters" apparently. Lol. Hmmm, I wonder if that ol' school song
"More Bounce to the Ounce" was referring to this?

"Shoe Donations" -Duck Season in Iraq

Now why NO ONE in America had the balls to do this? We all know deep down inside we WANTED to, and somehow some random guy, from the media of all places mind you, pulls off this stunt ( & his shoes) as a "going away present" for Bush. Homeboy OBVIOUSLY does play on some professional Iraqi baseball team or ever played that "toss the ball at the clown" game at the country fair, cause his aim was OFF! Well at least we'll get a good skit out of it on SNL next week. LOL!

"Marching To A Different Beat!"-Swagger Jacked...Again

I'm not sure you've been paying close attention but around these parts I've been known to be seen rocking a vintage marching band jacket from time to time. That was just me being me doing what I do. But now the fashion media decides that they wanna take notice and call it a trend(?) Sounds familiar? If you said yes it's cause the SAME site that posted the Mickey phenom that's happening in the streets are now reporting that the "Military/Marching band" craze has descended upon us now. Let me find out someone I know is working/spying for them in my closet. I'll make her leave early in the wee hours of the morning, with NO cab fare to get home! Wait...I do that already. I'll think of some evil payback, just wait. BTW I'm glad the Fashion world is FINALLY taking notice. Cheese!
Peep > "the Urban Drumline"

"The Realest S#!t I Ever Wrote!" -Dope Swan Bigs Me Up!

Looks like I'm BACK in the news AGAIN! My peoples over at Dope Swan finally posted up the interview they conducted on me some months ago when I was (a year) younger. Funny, how I found myself reading it as if I don't remember what exactly I had said. Wanna read it? Well just get ya click on> the Minority Speaks

Real profound stuff...

"Play On Player" Holly Would...Right Don?

Hollywood and the Media,
(shaking my head)
boy I tell ya!
You date ONE white women in this town and look how they hate on you! Come on now though...Posters?
Calling him out saying "Traitor"?
"The truth is complicated?"
I bet it is. Was she white or not Don? YES? See, was that complex at all? And what does Guy Pearce have to do with all this? He set you up I'm guessing right? Wait...hold up a minute. This is for some damn MOVIE? My bad dog, I got it ALL wrong homey. Glad to see you still working. Support Black actors. (*BTW, Don Cheadle has the leading role in a movie loosely based on me, as a frustrated Blogger on the come up, living in Bed-Stuy.)

"Say It Loud, I'm Black & I'm Proud!" -CNN "the New Authority On Blackness"

Ummm, has ANYONE been following this? From the looks of things someone over at CNN ( which now stands for this "Country's New Negro") has hired the laid off production staff from BET, to create this propaganda filled documentary about the state of Black affairs in Amerikkka. If what they're claiming is true, then kill me now! Cause it's sounds hopeless as motherf^@ker (lol). Seems like perfect timing to air this, on an election year where the leading Democratic candidate happens to be...You guessed it...Black! If you haven't heard by now, his name is Senator Barack Obama, and he's wants to become your next President, by beating "around the Bush." Peeps these clip out, but PLEASE (warning) have an empty bucket nearby on hand as you watch.





P.S. Stay tuned to BET for the response/diss documentary "White In America."

"You Can't See What I Can See"- True Confessions of a Governor

See I told you it wouldn't take long before the media "lynch mob" in hopes to sell fresh papers, start digging threw newly appointed Governor Paterson's recyclables. But Gov. DP is beating them to the punch by hanging up his own "dirty laundry" out to dry. This time he's admitting (again mind you) to doing "ungovernly" things in his past. This time it's Coke, and while we're on the subject, let me come forth and say I too have tried Coke in the past. I've also done Pepsi, and the purple stuff too, yes Welch's grape soda. But see when I tried it, they called it the "Pepsi Challenge" and I think I passed with flying colors. Hopefully Paterson will pass his "challenge" too.