Monday, March 8, 2010

"I'am No (D') Angel(o)" -Slice of the Humble Pie, Not Devil's

Didn't know if you caught this in the news paper today but it seems like D'Angelo road back from obscurity is hitting some "pot" (pun intended) holes. Now for the second time he's in the headline for something other than new music rumors and an arrest. Earlier Saturday morn, ya boy the "Yoda of Neo-Soul" was arrest for asking for head from an (unknown to him at the time) undercover cop! Reports say it occurred in the West Village, where he was more or likely was taking a break from recording at near by Electric Lady (that Jimi Hendrix once owned) studio. Luckily for you readers of the Minority Report, you get the exclusive inside scoop of the convo that went down between 5-O and D' read along to yourself.

Scene: D'Angelo is "Cruisin' " near Washington Square Park (well known city hang out for prosties & druggies) he pulls up in his Range Rover next to some fly "Spanish Joint" and reported says...

D'Angelo: Hey, slow it down "Brown Sugar!" I got a "Jonz In My Bones" & "I Feel Like Makin' Love." Or at least a good blow job...What's good?

Undercover cop:
What you some "Playa Playa" or something? It's gonna cost you to get a slice of this "Devil's Pie"... $40 "Alright?"

$40 for just head? Well "Greatdayinthemorning!!!" S#@t! Prices done went up "Higher" huh?

Undercover Cop:
You gotta know how to treat a "Lady!" Now let me hop in and you can keep driving "Left & Right" till you see this small dark alley and hand me the money.

Oh you too "Smooth" for me man! Now tell me "One Mo' Gin" it's $40 dollars RIGHT? Just for some kisses on my head? S#@t better be hot like "Chicken Grease" ma!

Undercover Cop: I got that "Untitled" s#@t Poppy! When I'm done you tell me "How Does It Feel?" Once you come down from the roof top! (Laughing) By the way, does anybody tells you you look like D'angelo? You just A LOT fatter than him...No offense.

D'angelo: (Laughing) I hear "The Line" ALL the time ma! None taken, now here's the money offense! (Laughing harder)

Undercover Cop: Word? Bitch?!? Well this bitch is placing yo ass under arrest! Now how does THAT feel?!?

D'Angelo: Awww "Shit Damn Motherf@%ker!" I KNEW I shoulda keep my ass in "Africa" with Dave Chappelle on vacation man! It's like I got some bad luck "Voodoo" spell on me! F#@K!

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