Monday, July 21, 2008

"Bombs Over Brooklyn" -City's Pigeon Fine Is For the Birds

In reaction to the "Feed a Pigeon, Breed a Rat" campaign the City is heavily promoting. And the recent announcement that there will be a hefty fine given if a human is caught feeding the birds, let alone socializing with one. Radical right wing pigeon militants (H.O.T. Wings) have taken their fight to the streets (or rather air) to voice opposition to the City's decision. Here are some excepts from a letter sent (via carrier pigeon) to the press expressing their stance on the issue:

"Food out here on the streets, let alone GOOD food, is hard enough to come by for us as is! Trust me, we despise those garbage grubbing rats just as much, but this new law is downright discrimination! If we cannot eat and live comfortably nether will you! Random acts of bird droppings will rise dramatically until this law is revoked. Nothing...I mean NOTHING will be safe! Your homes, yours cars, your playgrounds and parks. Your little league soccer games, outdoor concerts, picnics and yes even your breakfast bagels and expensive Mermaid logo coffee you so badly crave in the morning. ALL will be targets of our attacks! If you've never stood up for something, do not fall for this!"
Signed "Ruffled Feathers"
H.O.T. Wings Leader

P.S. We are wise to your "exploding" rice and poisoned bread crumb tricks.

The NYPD and City officials usually tend to ignore empty hostile threats from such like groups, but when they saw the attached photo, especially the one in the beret, they knew that they meant business. That "morning bagel" reference was enough to scare me man.

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