"It's Crunch Time!" -Cereal Killa!

One bright early Saturday morning I decided to start my new day with a healthy bowl of (one of) my favorite cereals which is Capt. Crunch (w/ the berries...of course). Curiosity had struck me while examining the box and I wondered to myself "Of WHAT navy or ship WAS he a captain of exactly?" I love knowing random useless trivia so this was right up my alley (speaking of "alley" here's a quick plug: "Rock & Bowl" -May 9th @ Brooklyn Bowl! FREE!) Went to the ol' reliable Internet, that's when a part of my childhood died! What I uncovered was (now prepare yourself for the shocker) that the good ol' Crunch. here was the captain of a SLAVE ship! Jaw dropper right! Dude had retired from the British navy and to make ends meet he became the captain of a vessel hustling Africans to the Americas dude! No s#%t man! Crunch ISN'T even his mother f**king last name yo! I was reading that "Crunch" was just a nick-name his fellow ship-mates (seamen, or whatever you call those guys that sailed with him) gave him the name after he whipped up some weird "crunchy" meal to feed the slaves on their journey west. WORD! And get this, to add flavor he threw in some "berries" from their native lands to make his "crunch" meal more edible...WOW! I dropped not only my jaw but my SPOON too, while reading this reveling info. I can NEVER look into his blue eyes and at that hipster of a moustache the same EVER again dawg! Do you KNOW what this MEANS man? Let me spell it out for you "Capt. Crunch cereal is really SLAVE chow being consumed by the innocent babies of the world!" What's next Toucan Sam of Froot Loops is the first openly GAY cartoon character rocking that rainbow beak of his, with that soft whispery voice telling kids "Follow your nose" huh? On another note, Why is Crunch's eyebrows on TOP of his hat? Well now you know the facts kids, so stick with the Tiger (Tony NOT Woods)! LOL. Don't "Crunch-a-tize" man! I'll pass on that one!