Thursday, August 11, 2011

"When (Ape) S**t Hits The Fan!" -Rise Of The Planets Of The Apes Review

Yoooo! I gotta say yet ANOTHER movie this year (the other being Captain America) I had low expectations for (no crazy buzz) that shocked the monkey for me! But after hearing the rave reviews and on the street feedback, I was like "Okay, let me stop monkeying around and peep this s**t out." I vaguely remember the original Ape series and I'm still trying to forget the Burton version(!), but I'm ALWAYS curious about the starting point of something, so that was my motivation for coping my tix. Gotta say right off the bat (or is it off the back? who knows), I LOVE the pace of this movie! The intro sets you up from the start setting a tone of sympathy you could have for the hunted simians, that in the end turn the tables on man. And also how even though we share SO many moments with our "pets" they still have feelings on disconnection to their "family" being that we're not of the same kind. Much like people do to each other. Right? Though I thought the movie was a "MUST SEE!" Here's what stuck me as "funny style" about the flick.
**Warning spoiler alerts**

For one I felt my boy James Franco's acting was BLAH! Very one note-ish. Not much emotion here, not even a tear when his pop duke dies! BTW how is he a top level scientist still living in a family setting suburbs like that AND in all that time past, shacking up with a dime like co-star Freida Pinto and NOT seed her up? Whaaaat?!? Now THAT would have been dope would be to see Caesar (the starring chimp) jealous of a new baby around the house, then getting sent away for some "accident" involving the kid. Hey, maybe that's another movie. And speaking of accident, why dude next door didn't sue the pants off of that monkey? Your pops f**ked up my whip, my finger got bit, AND I got the s**t kicked out of my chest by damn monkey feet!!! Where's my lawyer? Insurance don't cover monkey gone ape s**t! Maybe that banana smelling cologne was a BAD idea huh? Also would sneaking a scene of Caesar reading a Curious George book in the movie hurt? THAT woulda been a dope nod to curious monkeys all over the world. Even funnier would be to hear "Hey! Hey! We're the Monkees!" playing on the radio in the bridge scene finale as the humans are fleeing. And while we're on the subject of fleeing, HOW in the hell did the only black dude in the film escape them damn apes, and get a free helicopter ride outta dodge? Three things I walked away with thinking about this movie. One was, "clothes don't make the ape!" meaning you can take the "gorilla out the mist, but not the mist out the gorilla"...what ever THAT means. Second thing was, this movie was not too too far off from what happened during slavery dawg. Even peep the "Civil Rights" scene when ya man Caesar got hosed down. Real talk...oh sorry, the new slang now is "Free speech!" And lastly I couldn't help but notice that a black man had a hand in TWO end of the world stories! That scientist from that Terminator 2 flick, and now the black dude from THIS movie! Can a educated ni**a, high up on the ladder get a break!?! Sheesh! #Imjustaskin' Stop spankin' yo monkey and go see this w/a banana shake and popcorn in hand! I giving this 4 1/2 out of 5 M's


Joann said...

It's Planet if the Apes not monkeys! So no curious George or Monkeys themes. It wouldn't work silly

Joann said...

I mean OF

Brought to you by the Letter "M" said...

Monkeys, Apes, Apples, Bananas, WHATEVA! Don't get all "Caesar" on me!

"Come Follow Me Into The Matrix"