"Clawing Your Way To The (Box-Office) Top!" -X-Men Origins: Wolverine Review

Okay after numerous posting of damn near ALL the coming trailers for this movie, it would only make sense that I go see it, & write a review on the finished film right? Well this Mon. I did the more sensible thing and avoided the weekend rush crowd, and took in a viewing at MY leisure, dead in the afternoon. Less folks, and way shorter lines that way. But enough about that, it's on to my thoughts about the movie. And to be quite frank...I wasn't REALLY impressed by it (hold your boos for later). It was good how they set up his time spanning history in a quick montage for the opening credits but then when things slowed down a bit, my heart rate did too. I feel more time should've been spent on building the characters bond in his elite fighting unit, so you understood way they felt betrayed when he bounced. And actually show him in action as to way he's such a bad ass other than them damn claws! I never once felt sad (no homo) for any of the guys Victor ("Sabre Tooth") started hunting down and killing off, not one. And I'm sorry, with so much domestic violence going 'round, I don't know one chick that would feel totally comfortable sleeping next to some dude that wakes up screaming and clawing $#it! Ladies, am I wrong? I get a nudge if I just snore a lil' too loud, let alone cut someones arm up (lol). I did cut someone once with my uncut toenails, and boy did I hear about it the next day!
When there wasn't any on screen action, the dialogue was not even comic book worthy. I wasn't expecting "Hamlet" , but not stuff that could fit in a thought bubble. All in all the the movie was one big "male cat-fight" between two brothers at the end of the day. As to why Logan ("Wolverine") would be MORE upset at his bro killing African villagers, than when he killed men in his platoon is still lost to me. I guess killing more innocent black folks is still over the line huh? Finally, I'm just now noticing two things missing too. One, there was a cameo scene of a young "Storm" in the trailer, you guys tricked me! And two, Will.I.am is in the film for more mins than half of these folks in this poster! I guess he was in character when they shot this and he "disappeared" huh? I'm done, see you in the aisles.