Monday, April 20, 2009

"Swindlers List" - (Face) Book Me The First Flight OUTTA HERE!

The other day while on Facebook, minding my own business (and snooping through folks profile pics), I get an IM from some random "friend" looking to chat. Thinking it's about business, I entertain the convo till it takes a weird turn. Now folks that know (and hopefully) love me, know that I can be a sarcastic bastard if given the right opportunity...heck ANY opportunity to be honest. So when I quickly caught on this "friend's" FB account got hacked into, and someone was running "game", I decided to play along just for $#@ts and giggles. Here's the WHOLE chat convo in it's entirety, word for word. Moral of the story: "Shame on a ni99a who tries to run game on ni99a!" -Ol' Dirty Bastard (Wu Tang)

Footnote; I changed the person's name to protect the innocent victim who's account got jacked, and that's the ONLY thing altered in the conversation. Read along, and enjoy "Facebookers!"

7:54amTanyah

Hello

7:53am Alanzo

What good?

7:54am Tanyah

I'm in some kind of deep shit...

7:55amAlanzo

Details?

7:57amTanyah

I'm stranded in the Philippines , I got mugged at a park

7:58amAlanzo

Yep that's some deep shit all right!

7:59amTanyah

It was a brutal experience, all cash and phone I had on me were stolen, and my credit card has been collected too

7:59amAlanzo

Ouch! that SUCKS!

8:01amTanyah

Now I'm left with no money here. I need help out of here.
I have been reaching out to friends for help,

8:03amAlanzo

Okay, so now how am I involved? I'll be out there later tonight ironically so...

8:05amTanyah

I need some money so i can get a flight ticket back home so please can you loan me some money till i get back home?

8:07amAlanzo

Just got my taxes back AND I'll be out there so you're in lucky! just need a contact # so I can hit you asap once I land

8:08amTanyah

You can have it done online (www.westernunion.com)
or you can go to any nearest Western Union and have it sent out for me O.K

8:11amAlanzo

Say WORD?! How much you need cause I was going to sent some to my Grandma who's in need of a new hip, but seems like you need it MORE!

8:12amTanyah

just $890

I will pay you back as soon as I'm home..

8:14amAlanzo

I hope so, cause she's been dying (no pun intended) for a hip replacement for a while. So I need to be paid back ASAP!

8:14amTanyah

yeah as soon I get Home I will send it to you ASAP!

8:17amAlanzo

Now how can I trust that you will do that, being that we've NEVER SPOKEN...EVER? $890 is no small change in this weak economy. Good thing you can still get on Facebook to reach out man. Thank God for that!

8:20amTanyah

So please are you help me Alanzo, you are the only one I can rely on for now please I will pay you back ASAP! Please Alanzo! Or how much can you afford to help me with now?

8:24amAlanzo

I can do $400 now and the rest once I get out there. I have to pay for cab fare and all to and from the airport and other things. Plus NOW you got ME shook that that might happen to me while I'm out there! So I need to be safe too! Or else I'll be FB'ing some stranger looking for help too. Feel me?

Now where I'm I sending this to?

8:25amTanyah

Here is the details where to send it to me

8:25amAlanzo

I'm ready when you are go

8:26amTanyah

Receiver's Name: Tanyah Taylor

8:26amAlanzo

DUH got that part already

8:27amTanyah

I will tell Erica she will help me with the $490 alright

so please are you doing it online

8:28amAlanzo

Erica who?

8:29amTanyah

Receiver's Name: Tanyah Taylor
Receiver's Address: Illinois, United States

So please are you doing it online Alanzo?

You still there?

8:32amAlanzo

Yep, just chillin' sipping a Bud, watching T.V...True.

8:32amTanyah

Alright

How many minutes should I wait for the transfer

8:34amAlanzo

Just a few, I have to call "the Grands" to break the bad news that there's a delay of funds towards her new hip. okay?

8:34amTanyah
Oh alright

I will be waiting for you here alright

As soon as you are through with the transfer please let me know alright?

8:35amAlanzo

BTW you still haven't said WHICH Erica

8:35amTanyah

Erica (BLANK)

My family friend

She is not online now alright

So please I want you to make it smart so to help me with the transfer

8:37amAlanzo

OH! That one cool I'm on it. I am SO down.

8:37amTanyah

Ok

Thanks very much

I really appreciate it

8:38amAlanzo

Thank you for thinking of me, in your desperate time of dire need.

8:38amTanyah

Alright

8:39amAlanzo

ONE!

8:39amTanyah

So please are you true with the transfer

8:40amAlanzo

Stop rushing! You're not going anywhere NO time soon. Chill out, I said quote "I'm on it"

8:41amTanyah

Alright am very sorry

8:41amAlanzo

Sorry to have gone to the Philippines right!

8:42amTanyah

Thanks

8:43amAlanzo

You got it. Anytime

8:44amTanyah

I guess you are through now

I have limited time here please Alanzo

8:44amAlanzo

Thought we wasn't gonna rush here you go again

8:45amTanyah

Sorry

am waiting here Alanzo

8:46am Alanzo

BTW "AL" is cool "Alanzo" sounds too formal

5 mins more and I'm done

8:47amTanyah

Alright

Thanks AL

4 comments:

FLY LADY DI said...

nice! very well played. could be turned into some sort of cartoon or something

Karl-Edwin Guerre said...

way to see it through.... i'm jealous... I could use a good laugh.

Daisaku said...

*kisses teeth*
What kinda foolish ting dat!?
Granny nahgo get hip replacement cuz of miss GLADDY-GLADYS!!??

I love how she wants you to western union the money to illinois.

Rasu said...

Lmao! just Lmao!

"Come Follow Me Into The Matrix"