"And The Award Goes To..." The American Music Awards In Review

Did you happen to catch the American Music Awards (AMA's) last night? If NO, then I'll bring you up to speed so you won't feel like an outcast around the ol' water cooler today. In my opinion the BIGGEST winner of the whole night was...Disney!
The parent company of ABC made sure that this year's award show promote basically all the talent they run. The show opened up with a medley (?) from Christina Aggie-whatever. A former Mouseketeer btw. Why a medley you ask? Who knows, it's not like she was receiving a life -time achievement award or anything! Oh, but she DOES have a greatest hits CD to promote right (exclusively at Target, a sponsor for the show. hmmm). Awkward moment of the night; Some dude walks out high/drunk or something to announce a song called "Sober." Loved the irony. Best performances top three (not in any order); Cold Play, Beyonce', and Ne-Yo. Hot! Top Head Scratches; Flo Rida up for ANYTHING! Kanye GIVING an award away (to Lil' Wanye). Chris Brown winning Artist of the Year(?) over Cold Play, Alicia (I wanna lick you) Keys, and Lil' Wayne! Even he was shocked! Other Disney plugs; Miley (freakin' Hanna Mon-freakin' -tana) Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers performing, plus another former Mouseketeer Justin Timberlake as a surprise host. Other highlights (or rather low points) were the (stray) Pussycat Dolls set singing "When I Grow Up." Ummm, like grow up already! And ya'll remember when Jamie Foxx use to be funny? I miss the funny Foxx (no homo)! Two of the biggest acts had the biggest yawns, Kanye West & Rihanna (dude, where'd my accent go)...Dope haircut BTW. The Dream brings out Beyonce' ? Man I could've done that! New Kids On the Block looked like "Ol' Men Off That Rock!" Stiff, but happy to still be moving. Long story short. I missed the 24 season premiere for THIS!?! And P.S. Jimmy Kimmel sucked...So not funny!