"BIGGING Up My Borough"-The Skinny On Two New Openings

Okay allow me to break it down for you. You got KFC, McDonalds, Burger King, Golden Crust, Apple Bees, Dominoes, Subways, Papa John's, Popeyes, Halal, Jamaican, AND Dominican restaurant all in ONE area! And NO this isn't a food court I'm talking about! It's in the Bed-Stuy...sorry Stuyvestant Heights neighborhood between the Fulton & Franklin and stretches stomachs all the way to Thompkins. NOW one more has been add to the list, the just opened burger chain Checkers joint on Nostrand Ave! And from the looks of things it seems to be a HIT and it's only been open for two weeks now. But it's ALWAYS packed, especially with overweight tweens released from "Juvie Hall" aka called High School. LOL. Now I'm hearing that 7 Eleven is looking (or rather IS) opening up on Flatbush Ave. and Fulton St. to help out with the widening of Brooklynites waist lines. Located right across from Juniors, I'm sure this TOO will be a success as well. What's next Denny's? Waffle House? Big Boy's? Or a Church's Fried Chicken? Huh? Fast food is the NEW crack in the hood fo' realz! Damn, I just made myself hungry from writing this stuff man!

"Made In China"-KFC Means Kung Fu Chicken

About two months ago, I became the luck 97th caller in a local radio contest to win an all-expense paid trip to Beijing, China
to be present for the Grand Opening of China's very 1st KFC! Now I'm no fan of long distant travel, but I was "jazzed" up to taste their version of an iconic American fast food staple.
Opening day comes, ribbon's been cut, and I get my own bucket, biscuits and beverage to go to town on. One bite and...Huh?
It tasted just like the chicken from the dingy corner Chinese restaurant I order from! You mean to tell me, I flew FREAKIN' 18 hrs. for some ol' "Mr. Happy Happy" tasting ass chicken? Never again man...Never again!

"Hell's Kitchen"-Colonel Sanders Chickens Out

It has recently come to attention of the Minority Report that the beloved founder and iconic figurehead of KFC, was discovered to be a former
slave owner at one time. Yes, spicy and mild "dark meat" indeed.
While residing in Kentucky for over 85 yrs. it was said that he owned up to 13 some odd slaves (I'm guessing one for each herb and spice in his secret recipe) on his sprawling plantation and large chicken farm, said to be the biggest in the region at that time. However what's even more surprising about this revelation it that two of his closest
"house servants" were none other than the real-life advertising mascots "Uncle Ben" and "Aunt Jemima!"
Deep like fish grease, right!?!
Descendants of the Ben and Jemima, have publicly made claims that the good Colonel stole & sold their family's cookbook to industry giants for undisclosed millions, and are now seeking to sue the greedy
chicken corporation.
*Side note: Man, can you just imagine meals at that house?
Early morning breakfast with "Auntie" cooking up her now famous flapjacks topped with her warm homemade syrup, then BAM, dinner comes and you've got the Colonels 3 course cuisine
(Biscuit, mash w/gravy, and spicy chicken) and "Uncle's" rice
staring up from the plate at you. Damn, I just made myself hungry.
As this story further unfolds like a dinner napkin, I'll keep you
"a breast" of things...or at least a thigh. (Lol)