"The Beetle Juice (Crew)" -Monster's Ball Returns to Brooklyn Ya'll, Don't Be Scar'd!

Yeah I know I'm a lil' early on this one, but I NEED you to save the date...
Sat. Oct. 31st...
Halloween! For an event that I'am 100% guaranteeing you WILL NOT wanna miss. Basically all the powers that be, that influence Brooklyn, have united to present this year's most anticipated Halloween ball out! Allow me to name names if you will...Okay there's Harriet's Alter Ego, the Brooklyn Circus, Alador & Smith, the Stylistics Agency, the Minority Report, the Ahficionados, plus the Breakfast Club. So you KNOW the place will be packed with the best looking (& dressed) people NYC has to offer. It will be a FREE event however here's the catch to that. You GOTTA either be in costume OR dressed to the nines (preferably in something black.). If not, THEN and only then will you be charged for entree...bottom line, period. The venue is a three level, newly renovated space in Brooklyn Heights that's looking SWEET now! Gotta B'day you wanna celebrate there too? Plan it with us now (theMreport@gmail.com) and let's get it in! The more the merri...er ummm Spookier boo!

"Not Your Average (Trader) Joe(s)" -BK Gets Yet Another BIG Biz.

No, you're not looking at the inside of another Wall St. bank gone bust. It's the interior of the newest Trader Joes to be opening in Brooklyn. This Friday (Sept. 26th), as a matter of fact! BK winos are rejoicing all over the borough. But word is the new location (inside the landmark Independence Bank building) will stock not one drop of wine at ALL. Yes, the sobering news hit all fans of Two-buck Chuck HARD. So why are they opening anyway if there's NO wine? They plan on trying a new approach with this one by actual selling other product such as food I think. So stop "wine'n" and grow up.

"The (What's Really) Real World"- BK Edition

Please tell me, did you heard that MTV's casting and filming their hit series show "the Real World" in Brooklyn folks!?! When hearing of this, my first thought was that skit that Dave Chappelle did mocking the show...Hill, Larry, Us! I'm hoping that it's in Bed-Stuy, Fort Greene, or Bushwick that the cast will be shacked up in. I'll pay good money to get (legal) cable for that one man (or at least wait till that season is released on DVD)! More than likely, It'll be staged in some Brooklyn Heights / Park Slope brownstone, like a racially mixed episode of the Huxtables or something like that. How Rudy!

Dear MTV,
Please just keep it "real" like that title suggests, and film all the corner store arguements, and the random bum fights, with the distant gunfire shot sounds still left in. You will regain my respect you lost, so many years ago. Thanks in advance.

-the Minority Report

"We Final Got A Piece of the Pie"-Domino's Does BK

Now wait, before your mouth starts to water listen up first. Have you heard about this new pizza Domino's is promoting called "the BRKLYN"?
Huh?!? I see two things wrong with that already.
First, when did we start abbreviating Brooklyn with the "R" still in it? And the worst offense of all is...Pepperonis son? How you gon' name a pizza after BK and NOT have extra beef on it? Come on son, Brooklyn is infamous for "beef"! Somebody from Park Slope or Brooklyn Heights must have been on the board, when topping suggestions came up. If I had ordered this not knowing better, I'd be HIGHLY upset kid. Fa real, fa real. Hold up...Can you sue for some s**t like this? I say if they really wanna give customers the BKLYN experience do this, when they order, have the delivery person show up in a ski mask! Or dressed like the DEA (lol). BK Stand Up...and get the door. Your pizza's here!