Showing posts with label Barry Bonds. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Barry Bonds. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

"I've Fallen For You, Don't Ever Transform...Ummm Change!"-Transformers 2 Movie Review

Even though you could never tell by the weather we're having, Summer has officially started folks once a Transformer movie comes out! Now I grew up on this cartoon phenom, but wasn't so "jazzed" hearing about a movie adaption of it. So much so, that when the first one came out, I never caught a showing in the theaters (gasp!). I first viewed it on a flat screen club TV out in Philly (on mute), then later on cable at a hotel in between "humpin' " Which isn't the best way to follow a movie. But I do remember liking the first movie. Now on to Transformers 2, which we knew HAD to happen due to all the ca$h one made. Well think of part two as one on that "Barry Bonds juice!" Bigger, louder, and I went deafer lol. Now this is the stuff Summer block buster should be made of. Not to much hard thinking involved, alot of fight scenes, sexy on screen women, a lil' suspenseful, a lil' emotional, a lot of humor. This isn't an "oscar worthy" film, but it is what it is...which is pretty good. Trust me, It had it's plot (and script) "wtf?" moments, but the action is so quick, it's no time for deep thoughts about "HUH? Can someone PLEASE explain to me how that happened?" I think that's how the movie studios get you into seeing it again (lol). Anyways, that Fox chick? Holy franks & beans! At 2o feet tall on a screen, she is sooooo freakin' African summer heat HOT man! All she needs to do is adopt a few kids and Angelina Jolie's career is toilet tissue...a WRAP! Never mind can she act, no one's paying her to be Meryl Streep bro. I kept having to use the ice from my soda to cool my lap down the whole movie, plus a refill (LOL)! Shia, who plays pretty much THE SAME character in every movie (to me a least), was really good in this one. But with all the artifact searching in the film, it was like he was back on the set of "Raiders" again. On a different note, "Optimum On-Line Prime's" voice should be casted as the voice of God! It's just very commanding. However, I was NOT feeling the twin "Ghetto-bots" dawg. You mean to tell me that these aliens have spend egos on Earth, and traveled from light years away, only to transform into some souped up, foul-mouthed Dodge Neo's? Sporting gold "grills" huh? May as throw a NY fitted on him, and have their bumpers sagging in the back why don't you, my ni66a !?! Then with this bad economy, the N. Korea missle threat, and health care on Obama's already full plate. You gonna throw his name up in the mix, to solve some intergalactic fighting robots crisis too! Sheesh! That's also using our fuel (no hybrids were harmed in the making of this film)! Go "BOO" yourself Mr. Bay! On a final note, if you plan to go see it, do when the Sun rises earliest towards the eastern sky, or when the Moon is at it's lowest across the horizon. Saw it at 31 mins. past midnight and the line was DUMB long! Got out and had to go straight to work...THAT's how long the movie is too! Minority readers, "ROLL OUT!" This gets 2 1/2 out 4 M's!

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Friday, July 18, 2008

"Goin' Green" -Let's "Split" A Cab!

In a rush to attend some oddly random gallery opening I often frequent, I made the fatal decision to share a taxi w/ some shabbily dressed looking guy who was headed to the same general area I was going to. Not being one for idle chatter, I introduced myself anyway, as did he (I think I remember him saying his name was ummm, "David" or a "Bruce"...or something close to that).
Anyway, he noticed the cabbie's last name was "Banner" and laughed about them being distant cousins. Me being nosey peeped that he was carrying one of those trendy "I Am Not A Plastic Bag" bags with a couple of plastic bottles of water in it. "Goin' green huh?" I inquired. Boy did he snap, "Green? NO! Where? You wouldn't like me if I went green!" I caught and attitude like "Huh? What? You serious?" Then he got all of a sudden all brolic and said in a much deep voice "I SAID, you won't like me if I go GREEN!" Dizzam!!! Dude started gettting all green in the face, the arms, f**k it all OVER! Then he jumped out the cab, all big and s#!t, like he took a gang of steroids in one gulp! And ripped the cab like it was a damn soda tab! The black man in me was like "You heard what the F**K I said, ya green ass Barry Bonds!" But the "bitchassness" in me spoke and said "Don't worry, I'll cover your half of the ride!" The moral of the story boys & girls is "Don't share no cabs with some crazy, steroid taking white dudes name Banner!"

"Come Follow Me Into The Matrix"