"Rock'em, Sock'em Robots!" -Transformers 3 Review

Yeah I finally gave in and joined the rest of the WORLD it seems (based on the box office returns) and decided to see the latest edition to the iconic childhood film rendition of Transformers (3). The first one I saw as an in flight movie. The second I'm embarrassed to say I paid for. And this current one I gave into peer/media pressure and gave it the benefit of the doubt. But as I learned in life "No one benefits for doubt!" Now though I felt this was NOT terrible, however I did feel like I lost some brain cells on this third go round. But hey, what did I expect from a Micheal Bey summer movie? The King's Speech?!? The dialog will leave you scratching your head but the action scenes more than make up for the first grade play like script. AND the use of 3-D was some of the BEST I've seen so far from a movie using the technology yet. While sitting in the theater I couldn't help but to think of past Bey movies ESPECIALLY the Bad Boys films and thought if you just replaced Smith & Lawrence with the Transformers and threw in camera angles and lens flares from that Armageddon movie then BONG! You pretty much have you a Transformers movie! Am I right? Yeah right? This is 3 1/2 M's out of 5 tops!

"Put A Ring On It!" - Scenes From "Hobbit" Set

Man I'm SO geeked out for this that I actually went out and bought the book to refresh myself on the whole story plot! Now THIS hits the 'Net and I damn near creamed myself! What!?! Was that too graphic? Well I'm just stating that I'm beyond excited to see in my life time, that this is FINALLY happening & coming to the big screen...in 3D even! Now enough talking, take a peek at the 10 mins web clip "Hobbit/Lord of the Rings" director Peter Jackson posted recently. Ummm can I pre-purchase tix NOW? Please! I'll do chores all YEAR! Lol.

"Thumbs The Word!" -My Must See Movie List

I LOOOOVVVVEE movies man! But if these ticket prices get any higher, I'm saving up to open my OWN bootleg theater! I'm thinking of calling it "the Butter Room" (thoughts?). Anyways as the average movie date turns out to cost the price of a Mr. Chow's dinner, I've become even MORE selective with the movies that I go see ("Step It Up 3D?" WTF). So with that being said, if I'm going to plunk down damn near $40 bones to stare at a big ass TV screen, in a dark room full of strangers, just cause the girl I'm dating other plans bailed on her, so I'm now "Plan C", it BETTER be worth my freakin' money/time. That's why trailers have come in SO handy. Some say TOO much, so say TOO little, then some ACTUALLY work the way that they suppose to! Which is get you excited about spending even MORE money to see something else besides what you're watching right now...GANGSTA! BTW save tons of money on 3D by simply SITTING CLOSER to the screen! LOL! BTW I went and got ANOTHER job in a movie theater, just so I can have extra money to afford to go SEE a movie! That's how sad it's gotten. So these are my picks that I put into my budget and why;

First up is "CYRUS." Saw this one a few weeks back...freakin' hilarious! I was laughing within the first few minutes of the opening scenes. It's the new "honesty humor" that Seth Rogan and Jonah Hill (who co-stars in this too) have help ushered in. And NO I haven't seen "Get Him To The Greek" but this is a different type of funny altogether! I cried when it was over. No not cause it was sad, it was just that funny. Well at least to me. Hahahaha see I'm STILL laughing.



Next up is "Inception", which opens THIS Friday (July 16th). This one has Leo as the lead but that's nowhere near the reason I hyped to go see it. It's cause of Christopher Nolan, dude that directed "Dark Knight" man! He's done thrillers before but NEVER on this type of a budget AND it's Sci-Fi TOO! WHOA! Plus the concept is dope! Which is ideas are priceless so steal them! Imagine a company that hires someone to enter Steve Jobs mind, to steal whatever his latest project would be. Ah you get it now? Gangster right? Well that's the story line (or at least I think it is) to the plot of this movie. I'm hoping this one is good man, or my credibility will be shot! From the trailers you can see how Chris tries to reenact the feeling of being in some one's dreams. Where things happen randomly in our subconscious, and out of order. I'm crossing my fingers on this one, or oops another $21.50 down the drain. I'm warning you EARLY, gonna be late getting to (plug) Room Service this Friday, I'm telling you NOW! (plug again) RSVP names to theMreport@gmail.com if you wanna join me.



Heard that this one "Scott Pilgrim V.S. the World" is based on a graphic novel, but why I'm interested is that fact that Michael Cera ("Super Bad" & "Juno") & Edgar Wright (who directed "Shaun of the Dead") teamed up for this one! So it best be funny as Hell! I was laughing just watching the trailer (which is a rarity for me) so it's a good sign that this one may be GREAT! The background graphics sorts reminds me of "Zombieland" but it in a good way! One tix bought & sold already.



Then lastly ya boy (well MAN I should say now) is back for the finale chapter of the "Harry Potter (HP7)" film which will be split into two parts AND in 3D! Talk about raping you for all you got and milking the cow dry huh? Gotta say, I've NEVER picked up and read a single book. But I've definitely seen EVERY movie. And I'll be first to admit each one has gotten BETTER than the last one before it. The look, the emotional intensity, the character depth...everything! As Prince once sung "...Life is just a party and parties aren't meant to last." So farewell Harry you had a GREAT run.

"You Better Shrekognize!" -Shrek Final Review

First off let me say I'm a big fan of the Shrek series! I think the creativity and attention to details that the Dreamworks team puts into each film is on a level par none. It's one of those rare computer animated film that you really question "Is it REALLY for the kids?" Simply because the jokes are a bit mature. And unless your 3-5 yr old is a well-read scholar in the writing and works of EVERY fairy tale EVER written, I'm not sure they'll FULLY appreciate the inside joke humor! So with that being said, let me get back to the film at hand, which is "the Final Chapter" (yeah right!) in the Shrek run. To begin with, I bought the tickets a day in advance to avoid the Sat. "nanny and baby mamma matinee" rush that you know the opening weekend of a rated G movie can bring. So all that I needed to do was show up, get my cool 3D glasses, and sit my ass down somewhere. Honestly I'm starting to be over the whole 3D trend right about now, but I had a feeling that this movie would do it justice...and did it! From the first opening scene, you can tell that their intent was for this to be in 3D in the first place, and not just jumping on the bandwagon last minute to rake in a few extra bucks. Or it least I think they didn't (lol). Whatever the case, it worked. What also worked was the pacing of the film. The story about how married life for Shrek was wearing him thin, didn't drag on. The main characters and plot was set up so you can jump right in, while being respectful to the story of the last 3 before this one. The ONLY problem(s ) I did have was that the film's villain "Rumplelambskin" sorry..."Rumplestilskin" was (to me, in my opinion) EXACTLY the same villain character ("Syndrome") from the Incredibles movie! Height, voice similarities, (red) hair and all! Mine you, I love both characters, but I'm just pointing it out. And the only OTHER problem I had wasn't with the movie itself per se'. It was the fact that to the left of me seated was some freakin' "man-boy" oooo-ing and ah-ing and cackling loudly at EVERYTHING that came on the screen! UNF**KIN' believable dude! Is this your first time EVER watching a 3D movie and s**t?!? Or a f**kin' movie PERIOD?!!? Sheesh louise! The louder he laughed, the LOUDER I laughed, but he never caught on. Then to top things off to the right of me was some 10 yr. old kid SNORING like a man twice his age! Then was pissed, when his dad finally woke him up as the credits was rolling! Kid, you're pissed? Yeah? Well we were too! Your pops shoulda woke that ass up a long time ago! I was thisclose to putting my popcorn bag over his head, and taking the charge! Leaving Shrek in handcuffs LOL! I'm giving this one 4 out of 5 M's!

"Alice In Wonder Bland!" -This Cheshire Cat Has NOTHING To Smile About! Alice Review

So I'm hearing that this was the number one movie at the box office this weekend. Which comes as NO surprise to me due to all the hype around it (Depp, 3-D, Burton, the story of Wonderland, yada yada yada) But to make a long review short...I should of supported "Brooklyn's Finest" like the proud "Brooklynista" I am. Because I found the movie to be so wack and bland, I have NO problem spoiling the plot for you. So if you STILL planning on seeing it, don't read ahead. Here's the deal, an older teen Alice is attending her "surprise" engagement party when anxiety hits and sees a vision of the White Rabbit hopping around leading her to that abyss hole she fell into years ago. Why no one uprooted this tree or sealed the hole yet years later, is a mystery to me! Anyway the next scenes we see are of her falling (in 3-D) and shrinking and growing back and forth for damn near 20 mins are so. Twiddle Dumb & Dumber show up and give her a quick tour of west side Wonderland before the Queen of Heart's goons show up and break up their lil' "reunion tea party." Damn, I'm getting bored just writing this, so I'll speed it. The gist is, Alice has been predestined to return to Wonderland as it's savior and return the crown and rule back to the White man...sorry White Queen and make all right with the world again. The End! But not before an 1hr. and a half of talking dogs, frogs, & dragons. Fish as servants, hedgehogs for golf balls, rabbits with A.D.D., a hat making tranny Irish accented Johnny Depp, plus a bong pot smoking caterpillar to boot. I should've gone to see this high, like the rest of the audience around me was...And I don't even smoke!