"25 Random (Hip-Hop) Things About Me" -the Remix!

Okay, I while ago I had this concept of writing a screen play which I can best describe as "a Hip Hop version of Forrest Gump" witness to some pivotal moments in where this one guy you follow through out the film has unconsciously influenced and bear witness to Rap's history! Dope idea right? DON'T bite it, I'll sue. Well it'll be loosely based on my life, so here's and abbreviated version of that idea in the form of Facebook's now infamous "Random Things" note. Pay attention.

TCL was first to go by the name "STD" but changed it simply because they felt the name would scare off male fans I guess. Hence the condoms Left Eye used to wear.

I held Lil' Kim's hand through plastic surgery, fell asleep and woke up to...Well you see the results. I'm not judging.

On a visit to Chuck D's house, when the money wasn't right just yet, he's electricity got cut off. It was ME who said "Fight the Power!" to him. Who knew he'd take it so far.

I secretly found out Memphis Bleek removes his do-rag much like Darth Vader inside a chamber (see Empire Strikes Back: Episode V for reference)

After numerous complications with her vagina, causing her to get violently sick, Foxy Brown as a young teen was nicknamed "the Ill Nana" originally by her close friends & family...and some ex-lovers too.

I made the BIG mistake of trying to reassure Ja Rule by saying "Nah, 50 ain't NO threat son!"

Took Young Buck out for ice cream after that now famous G-Unit breakup call.

By mistake, I washed some of Cam'Ron's red Dip Set stuff w/his whites at the laundry, so he really owns ME credit for putting him on to rocking pink!

One day bored at the studio, waiting for B.I.G. to show up, Puff and I went at it in a video game of boxing. While badly beating his ass , it was ME who first yelled out and taunted "Take that, take that!"

A while ago I lent a very cold Jay-Z one of my favorite blazer jackets, that I had forgot I had left Beyonce's number in. And so you pretty much know how the rest of the story goes.

I keep it a secret for the longest that R.Kelly REALLY has a bladder problem.

Convinced Teddy Reilly that "Guy" had a better ring to it than "Dude."

Yeah not quite 25, I have some more, but you have to (buy &) read it book before "the straight to DVD movie" comes out. LMAO!

"When In Robe"-Obama 's Muslim Wear Smear

Can you believe the audacity of the people actual behind the "re"-lease of this pic! Can't a brother get out the shower without paparazzi snapping at you? Or maybe he was cold and the other gentleman in the picture offered some extra layers for Barack to bundle up in.
Whatever the reason, I see no cause for alarm because of this photo.
If some voters are foolish enough to be swayed by an apparent attempt
to assassinate Obama's character, then they were worth losing. Because those were (in my opinion) uneducated ones to begin with. Besides, how can or do we claim to be a nation full of diversity, but fear a Black Planet (Public Enemy, not the web site). If it surfaces that Hill was in coohoots with this latest "Dele-Gate" scandal then I say,
"Shame on you Hilary Clinton, shame on you!"